Who Knew. [ ON HOLD ]

Chapter 4

I wake up to a migraine and a vision that no one would see through. So I decide I should take a shower. I don't really care about my appearance because no one ever notices but I do think I'm good at matching things together. I picked out black skinny jeans that has a hole I picked in them and a white T-shirt.

When I hop in the shower, the warm water tenses my muscles and the beads from my shower head massages my back. It feels good to just let the water fall down my hair. It kind of makes that bad headache slightly go away.

I've been in the shower for a while now so I think I should get out, considering I do have school today.

..

When I'm done with everything, I go and make some orange juice before leaving the house.

I hate school so much til its unbearable to tolerate. I finally reach this jail and make an entrance. I get many stares and glances but I choose to ignore them. Amanda walks up to me. She looks prettier than per usual. Did I just think that?

"Um hey, -- Amanda."

"Hey Harry." She smiles. I feel awkward because I didn't say anything so I try and change the subject.

"What classes are you taking this year?" I feel pathetic for asking that but after all we are in highschool.

"Physical Science, and 11th grade math." She has to be really smart because we are only in 9th grade. But I was always a high honor roll student with a 4.0 GPA.

"Heard its hard." I manage to say.

"Yeah it is, but I think I can handle it. I have to go to my first class though so bye. I'll catch up with you in GA Studies." She says.

I wave goodbye and walk towards my first class. As I enter, I hear giggles and classic remarks. I still can't comprehend why people treat others the way they do. Half of the time, no one ever does anything. Maybe it's our society. No one ever tries to fix it. Including me. I'm so focused on my depression that I can't even think about anyone or anything else surrounding me.

I learned a lot of things today, considering every thing went out one ear.

..

The last bell rings and I'm currently excited to be out. I try to find Amanda because she seems cool enough to be an associate but not too close. I don't want to get attached to a person, until I know I can trust them.

I start my daily walk on a trail I've grown to know. Today I have to go to my therapist. I don't really like them prying in on my life but it can "help you and your life." I don't believe it can though.

I text my mom: "Hey, I'm going to my therapy session today. So I'm going to be late."

She replies: "Okay, I love you and be safe."

When I reach the therapy office, I fomd myself wishing that I was regular and that I didn't have problems in my life. But we all want what we can't have.

I notice something very strange. I see Amanda sitting in there.

...

She doesn't see me but she isn't talking to anyone so I highly doubt she's here for herself. "Just because you smile doesn't mean you're happy." I once said this to a person who thought I was happy but they didn't understand the meaning.

Happiness is something that is supposed to stay but yet it always leaves at one point of time. We all crave that joy and hope for it to last even though we know it won't. It's like a patient with cancer on his/her last strand of hair. We all know it won't stay but yet we crave that hope.

Anyway my thoughts are interrupted by a sweet remark.

"You look cute today!" Amanda blushes.

"Thanks." I mumble. Something tells me to compliment her back without the awkwardness so I casually say, "You don't look so bad yourself." I let out a giggle that sounds real enough.

She smiles and leans in for what I'm guessing is a hug. Wait a hug? I haven't had anyone hug me before. Unless it was my mum.

When she leans in, I catch her scent and it smells beautiful. Like her. She pats my back like she knows something is wrong. I ignore that and focus on this hug. Right before she let's go my therapist calls me in.

"Bye." I say and wave. She turns back does the same.

"So how are you?" My therapists is starting the questions.

"Good, and you?" I ask. You have to lie here because they like to treat you to something called a mental facility. Which is something I hate.

"Great. Are you making any friends?"

"Yeah. Actually I have many more. I talk more at school so that's a start." I want to tell her that all of this is a joke but fool's gold. Let the fool get his gold before taking it all away and making him look like a complete idiot.

"Interesting. Well I just wanted to ask a bit of questions because you've been improving every month."

"Thanks. Its been hard being boy almighty."

She laughs and sends me out. "That's all for this month. Goodbye Harry."

As I leave, a part of me still wants to know why Amanda was here.