Who Knew. [ ON HOLD ]

Chapter 3

Many people will like look at me and then turn around but Amanda just came up and talked to me like it was nothing.

"Why are you walking?" I ask.

"Um, I just needed to get some air and oh my goodness your accent is adorable on you." She smiles

I turn away trying not to show my expression because no one has ever said anything like that to me. She seems kind of cool. Maybe she isn't so bad after all. Shut up. You can't trust everyone just because they seem nice.

"Cool." I shrug. I don't have much to say because I'm not used to conversations.

"Where'd you get that shirt from?" She points at my long sleeved gray sweater. I actually forgot where I bought it but it is one of my favorites.

"I don't really know, but I have to get going."

"Okay. Bye Harry." Amanda waves.

..

Once I reach home, I go straight to my room and into my dresser. I don't like doing this but I have to. It makes me feel better. Well sometimes.

I rush downstairs and grab a cup of water before going back up them to retrieve my antidepressants. They don't usually work, but I still take them just in case one day my mind will come back and I can live. You'll never be the same person you once were.

I ignore my thoughts and stay in my room. Since I have a bay window, I usually open it and sit on the little bench. Another thing I do when I'm feeling down, which is mostly always, I write down lyrics. Nothing major. But I haven't told anyone because I'm afraid someone may laugh. If I wasn't so messed up in the brain maybe I'd be successful now.

When I write, it just flows. It flows like a water stream out in the opening, waiting for someone to come near and throw rocks in it. The nice kind of rocks that is. Basically like me. I'm waiting for that/those person(s) that's just out there and that's going to throw those nice rocks at me. The rocks that are thrown is a sign to tell me to move on of course. Moving on from my state of mind.

"Hah, I could use that." I say aloud and jot those down in my journal.

My journal is something important. I take care of it like its my child. Pretty weird I know. But its so many emotions there and I don't want it to come in contact with anyone other than myself. I manage to hide it pretty well because my mom hasn't even seen it. Not once.

Right before I know it, I'm drifting off into sleep.