Please Come Home

Please Come Home part 37

I was in so much pain, I held my baby bump protectively while I waited for the doctor to come back. I tried to take deep breaths but I couldn't stop crying. I tried to rub my belly and feel around for a kick but I didn't feel any.
The pain was tightening in my lower abdomen and I was bleeding heavily. The pain was starting to move through my whole stomach and it hurt so bad.

D-"Ms. Cooper, I'm very sorry to tell you this-"

B-"No, please, no" (sobs)

D-"Ms. Cooper you had a miscarriage"

B-"No"

I broke down in a screaming sob. I couldn't believe I lost another one of my babies. My babies, I murdered them. I'm a terrible mother.

Ju-"Good job Betty, you killed another one of our kids"

B-"Jug-"

He walked out the door and slammed it shut.

B-"J-Jug"  

I jolted awake, my breathing was heavy and I felt severely nauseous. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. When I was done I washed my hands then looked in the mirror and tried to fight the tears from spilling out, but I couldn't.
They came spilling out and I tried to calm myself down but it was hard, plus I was trying not to wake up Jay in the other room.
I tried to go back to bed but I couldn't fall asleep, so I called Jug.

He came over quickly and walked in on me staring blankly at the floor.

J-"Betts?"

I looked up at him and sniffled. He came over to me and sat down in front of me. He combed a piece of hair behind my ear and cupped my teary face.

J-"What happened?"

B-"I... I had a nightmare"

He climbed into bed and I snuggled into his chest as he pulled the covers over us.

J-"Do you wanna tell me what it was about?"

B-"It was about Addi. When the doctor told me about her and... and you left"

J-"Oh Betts"

He kissed my forehead and cradled me in his arms.

J-"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you in the past. I'm sorry for not being there, and for being the reason why you were so stressed which caused you to have a miscarriage. I'm so sorry"

I sobbed into his chest and he rubbed my back. I finally got up and opened my nightstand drawer, I grabbed out my last ultrasound photo before I had the miscarriage and I brought it back over in bed with me.

B-"She wasn't even born yet, it wasn't her fault. It was mine" (sobs)

J-"Betty, I'm gonna tell you one thing and you better not disagree with me. You are an amazing mother, you always have been, this was not your fault. I was the reason why you were stressed, I was the reason why you felt alone your whole pregnancy, I was a terrible fiancé and father. Not you"

I sobbed into his chest and he comforted me. We hadn't really had a serious talk about Addison before, she was always my baby that I lost. I would get sorry's all the time, but every time that someone would bring her up, the tears would start again. It always hurt, even if they didn't mean to hurt me by saying sorry. They still did, but I always put on a bright face and told them thank you. But still every night I would still shed tears for my baby girl.

That night Jug and I both cried, even after a year, maybe even longer, the loss of our baby girl was still in the back of our minds, and it still hurt like hell. But we got through that night together, we comforted each other and didn't let go of each other.