I asked you to show me how to stop it, how to shut it down but sadly you didn't know how to solve that equation. Somewhere amongst all of this I forgot to put my walls up and now My brain is playing an unfair trick on my heart, one of love, hate, anger and a whirlwind of neverending emotions. One where my brain tries to rationalise a reality where you could be mine and there would be no suffering but my heart knows better. While the trick caught me off guard and dazzled me I knew it was to good to be true. But still I have no answer. How to make it stop. I want to shut down, my heart is on the brink of collapse and nothing more then a graveyard of broken promises and sorrows. The once busy place full of love now a mare bone yard of settling dust. I feel like a shell of what once was. I have so much love to give out but sadly none for myself. I would still give you the world in a heart beat, that is with what my heart has left of beats. I count the minutes between your texts, the seconds in your replies, I over analise the tone of your voice incase your getting sick of me but hey who am I to be the judge after all my bpd would convince me of just about anything if I thought about it for long enough. So why not this? Am I falling? Or am I in denial that it's already happened.
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Splitting And Grounding
PoesíaWelcome to a series of 4 am thoughts, BPD splits, suicidal ideation and my poor attempts at adequately expressing my emotions through writing. call them poems if you will some of its just writing what I need to get out others are something I spent t...
