July

Hey ;)

TW: Mature language, Mental abuse, Implied ED, body shaming.

Y/Ns POV:
I had waited all night to send Clay a message. I constantly was thinking about him.

his laugh

his voice

his pretty green eyes

"What the hell?" I whispered to myself while fixing Nick dinner.

Why am I thinking about him like this. I mean I love Nick and besides, Clay is just a customer.

Its not like I like Clay? right...?

"Where's my fucking food?"  Nick yells 
out from the living room.

"Oh uh...it's right here, I'm just making my fo-" I shakily say back.

"No you're not." I can hear anger start to rise in his voice.

"b-but sweetie. I haven't eaten anything since work." My legs are weak and I can feel my eyes start to burn.

"Good. You could skip a few meals, you're getting fat. I don't want to be seen in public with a pig." He laughs a little at his hurtful remark. The anger still noticeable in his tone.

"oh... yeah." I take in a few shaky breathes to help gain back some stability before walking into the living room with his tray of food.

"enjoy." I tell him while handing him his food and giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

I get a small mumble back in response of my caring remark.

~~~~~
I sit in the kitchen watching the little bit of T.V. I can see.

Once I start hearing Nick snoring I go back into the living room to collect his dishes, and turn off the T.V.

I begin cleaning his dishes when my stomach starts to hurt. That's when I finally realized how actually hungry I had become.

Cautiously I place his dishes back into the cabinet trying to keep the ceramic from clinking into each other too loudly.

With the dishes done, I ponder on eating something. My stomach is killing me and screaming at me to eat something, but my thoughts over ride my desperate need for food.

I decide to transfer my thoughts into something else and text Clay. I search through my pant pocket.

what...

I check the other pocket.

no..

My heart begins to race. Please. I couldn't have lost it.

why am i so worried about it.

I frantically walk up to my jacket and search every pocket.

"come on, come on it has to be here." I accidentally whisper under my heavy breathing.

I can feel tears start to form. This is the first good thing that's happened to me in a long time, I can't mess it up.