It's been a while since i've written in here and I think now is the best time. Tonight as I glance upon you as you sleep, I feel warmth within me. This feeling building up that I thought would never exist. You've brought this feeling to me a long while ago and yet, i've only noticed it in recent times. This is something I would never want to lose. I grow to become addicted to what you give me.
Serotonin.
Is it even possible for me to be this happy? Am I worthy to feel this much joy in my life? The love and happiness you give me is a fifty/fifty kind of thing. Half the time it's the most wonderful thing a person could ever feel. The other times it would make me feel unworthy of you.
I wish not to feel that way. When you look at me, I see the love you bring. I'm afraid that one day I won't see it anymore. The eyes I stare into so often will see right through me. That this insecurity of mine will never cease to exist. Through the comfort you give me and the dark thoughts roaming about. It's a constant war in my head and i'm not ready for the dark to win. Im ready to help your side so I can finally feel that one hundred percent love you want for me. I wish for you to only look at me and feel the same energy and compassion as I do. For that burst of serotonin to never fade.
Let me be the happiness you desire. Let me help you find your cause and find your way of life.
Is it wrong for me to be afraid?
Afraid of the dark thoughts losing?
The new things that I will experience will be unfamiliar and im petrified.
Guide me.
