Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Tenth Letter

To: Lee Seokmin
From: Y/N

Hi, Seokmin.

I have so many things I want to ask you but for this letter to you, I want to start at the beginning. The beginning of us. To me, you've been only sweet and caring and I couldn't have asked for more. I still respect your decision and I hope you won't regret choosing your dream over me.

I'm sure the public will love your voice just as much as I do. I still have the videos and mp3 files of your covers because your voice is just so utterly beautiful that I can't delete it, even though we broke up. Since I can't support you, an unborn artist, as your girlfriend, I'll support you as a fan.

When we first met, I was truly amazed by your vocals. I'm sure you noticed me staring because you looked at me and smiled at me while singing. At first, I was wondering why you were looking at me when there was everyone else in the crowd; and I later got the answer to that after.

I already told you this but yeah, because of you, I was late for my job interview. It was just for a part-time job and even though I needed a night job, I couldn't help but stop and listen to you sing.

At that time, I was having a stressful time. I had broken up with my boyfriend a few months ago and I wasn't fully over that yet. My dad was hospitalized for Cancer and I felt like I had no one to lean on.

Even though I was having a hard time then, I couldn't cry. I always thought that maybe it was because the hardships made me grow stronger. I thought that maybe I've cried too much in my life and now I just couldn't cry.

But when I heard your voice, my heart was aching, wrenching, and I just couldn't stop listening to it. I've always loved music but for some reason, your voice became a better medicine to me.

You were looking at me in that crowd when we first met because I had a tear rolling down my cheek. With fairy lights on the wall lighting up the corner of the store where you busked, I was crying because of the emotion and beauty in your voice.

At that time, after you performed, you asked me why I was crying. I lied and said it was because your performance was beautiful. This was the true reason behind it that I never got to tell you.

I still remember your pure eyes and sunshine-like smile. It was so bright. Your smile felt like a ray of sunshine slipping into my life that was a dark hole, offering me a hand.

Since I needed that hand, I accepted it. I reached for it and took it. That's how I would describe how we got together. You helped me smile with your pure, funny, and warm personality, and because of that smile, I could love you to the fullest.

You made me realize that sometimes, people need other people to help them cope with their problems. This realization caused me a bit of regret but I'm grateful that loving you could teach me this valuable lesson.

Seokmin, you were such a sweet and warm boyfriend.

For dates, whenever we did have time, you would bring me to the most memorable places. We would spend the day together having fun. Each place you picked left a memorable trace.

You were patient with me and didn't ask for much from me, which made me want to love you without any regrets. Sometimes it would be up to a week and a half before we saw each other again but each time you saw me, there was an even brighter smile on your face.

Our first kiss was at the beach and you took me there to help me refresh my mind. You were always thinking about me. When you took me to see the ocean, I felt it then, that I had to love you wholeheartedly.

That's why while we were sitting on the rocks, I brought your face to mine and kissed you. You must've been shocked at first but then you brought your hand to my jaw, massaging it gently, and began kissing me back sweetly. My heart was racing and that's when I was sure that I fell for you.