Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Thirteenth Letter

To: Lee Chan
From: Y/N

How are you, Chan?

I feel like I've seen this kind of storyline before. A summer romance that ends with you ghosting me.

I've been looking for work as I've told you before summer ended. I wonder what you are doing now. Now that the summer dance club where we met is closing, I can't see you anymore. You don't answer my calls either which leaves me to assume that you and I weren't dating seriously.

Gosh, I should have seen the red flags when you and I seemed to progress too fast into our relationship; but I just ignored them because you had me flipped out, falling for you head over heels. The way you spoke to me, smiled at me, gazed at me, the way you acted around me, I was convinced that you were just confidently liking me.

To begin this strange love story, should I start from the beginning, Chan?

Well, I graduated from grad school with my degree. I noticed that I was gaining a bit of weight so to try and burn it off, I joined this summer dance club. You were one of the members and immediately, when I spotted you practicing in front of the people, with confidence, your moves swift, I was amazed. I didn't expect that someone like you would fall for me.

Chan, you look like a genuine, passionate dancer. You told me that you've been dancing all your life and from that first impression, I was able to tell that.

When I joined the dancing club, I had not danced in a while. Yet, you taught me with so much care. I didn't ask for your help but you approached me first whenever I was struggling to learn a choreography. You taught me head-on and took the lead.

Your leadership skills are also amazing, Chan.

Before we both knew it, we were learning and practicing for long hours in the summer, sweat trickling down the sides of our heads to the point where our hair was wet. Your hair was wet from sweat a lot of the time but to me, you looked extremely masculine and handsome that way. We practiced so much that it was nighttime by the time both of us decided to call it a day. We were usually the only ones left.

Before we started dating, you would always give me water and wipe my sweat for me. It hadn't even been two weeks of getting to know each other when we had our first kiss in the practice room.

You and I were exhausted and leaning against the wall, sipping water.

“This is fun,” I commented.

I know you probably don't know, but I noticed you staring at my lips. I just didn't want to say it out loud in fear of ruining the nice atmosphere. The air conditioner was blasting cool air and since I was feeling so sticky, I just closed my eyes and let the floating cool air brush over my skin.

I don't know what you were doing but I'll guess that you were staring at my lips; because that's when I felt a pair of soft lips press onto mine. I was flustered at first, having your arm block all my possible exits, leaving me in your enclosed space. Our lips locked for a few seconds before I pulled you in closer, deepening the kiss. I placed my hands on your jaw, caressing you gently as your kisses became more passionate. It just felt like the right thing to do as my heart burned with fluttering butterflies.

Since it was summer, we both had quite a lot of time on our hands, but from time to time, I had to study too. I'm planning to start training in my line of work soon.

Well, we were able to hang out around each other a lot. I, believing you liked me, treated you like my boyfriend. You treated me like your significant other. We were dating. You behaved so sweetly around me, showering me with soft kisses on my cheek, surprise dates. Spending time with you was fun and wild.