Nightwing: Heartless

Part 55: Batgirl

Dick gasped in laughter, wiping a tear from his eye, "I can't believe I forgot about that."

"How could you forget?!" Barbara held her sides from laughing.

"I haven't laughed like that in forever," Dick said once they calmed down. He looked over at Babs, "thanks."

She bumped his shoulder with hers, "anytime." She pushed off and skated ahead of him, turning to flash a smile, her red hair flying back. She was an expert ice skater, turning and spinning with ease. Dick, not to be shown up, skated after her, weaving between the other skaters until he reached her. "Took you long enough!" Barbara teased.

It had taken convincing, but Barbara had finally convinced Dick to do something fun, not work related. He had thrown himself back into the Team after Wally died. Now that he was out, he was grateful to Babs for making him come out. Gotham winters were brutal, but kind of beautiful. The city went all out with festivals and ice skating, Alfred used to take Dick here.

"So what did you do for New Year's?" Barbara asked as they skated in sync.

Dick shrugged, "the usual, went over to the mansion and then out on patrol while the ball dropped. You were welcome to come."

Barbara rolled her eyes, "work on New Year's? You should have come to Zatanna's. Artemis brought party hats and everything."

"She had fun?" Dick asked gently. "I'm glad," he said when Babs nodded. It was a relief, watching Artemis heal. She was back on the Team, leading missions, and it sounded like she let herself have fun every now and then.

"How are you doing? I know it's only been two months since Wally died."

Dick blew out a breath. He didn't know how he felt. He was okay most of the time, he worked and helped people, he watched over his Team, and then sometimes he would look behind him to tell a joke or see Impulse in his uniform and forget his best friend was gone. "I'm okay," he finally said. Barbara nodded but waited for him to elaborate. "I've just been thinking."

"About Wally?"

"And Jason."

Barbara's face darkened. She was out of town when Jason was murdered, and still blames herself for not being here to help. The Bat Family was great at self blame. "The way he died... it wasn't right," Dick started, "he was a kid."

Barbara nodded, "they were both too young."

"And I knew Jason needed more time before going into the field. I tried to tell Bruce he wasn't the right personality. In the back of my mind I always knew he shouldn't be Robin."

"Hey," Barbara stopped them by putting a hand on his arm, "you did everything you could to protect that kid. Not that he appreciated it." They laughed at the joke and the memory of how difficult Jason was.

"And this new threat from the Shadows, or Light, or maybe just Deathstroke, targeting the younger members of the League... it's just got me thinking about the risks."

"That maybe kids shouldn't be heroes?" Dick looked over at Barbara. They could practically finish each other's sentences and it still surprised him when Babs knew his thoughts. She laughed at his surprise and started skating again, "that's what the Team is for though, to keep the young heroes covert, out of the thick of danger, while training them and giving them a purpose, right?"

Dick nodded, they were his own words, "I don't know, Babs, it just seems like bad situations all around."

"Or maybe you're just in your head," Barbara said gently, "it's okay after your past two years."

Tell me about it, Dick thought. Jason, Willa, Wally. He realized he hadn't thought about Will in a few weeks. He had busy, and the distraction had helped him stop almost calling her everyday. He hadn't even read over the last text she sent him in a while. Is this what moving on felt like? But the thought sent another pang through his heart. Was it pain from the heartbreak or pain from the realization his first love was over?

"What's going on in that head of yours, Grayson?"

For some reason he didn't want to tell Barbara. She was one of his best friends, he should be able to talk about his ex, but it didn't feel right. "Nothing," he said instead, "you want to get out of here?"

"Tired of looking like a chump beside me on skates?"

"Oh, shut up!" He shoved Babs to the side and made a beeline for the exit. He laughed, knowing she was on his heels. He made it out first and raised his arms in victory. Babs rolled her eyes and pushed him down as she passed, laughing when he tripped over the bench meant for people to take their skates off on. "Not fair," he said when he popped back up.

"This was fun," Barbara said once Dick sat down beside her. They both unlaced their skates.

"It's always fun hanging out with you." He pulled off the skates.

"We should do it again." Babs smiled at him.

"Anytime you want."

She moved forward and kissed him. He tensed, surprised, and Barbara jerked back, hand over her mouth, "oh. Oh, I'm sorry, I- uh..." she got up, carrying her skates to the counter and dropped them off.

Dick jumped to his feet and ran after her, "Babs!" He called and finally caught up to her, "Babs, wait, please-"

"Can we just not talk about it? I'm embarrassed enough."

Dick ran a hand through his hair. He could feel his cheeks still burning. He had just been so caught off guard, and now Barbara was running away from him. "Babs, don't be," he heard himself say. She turned back to face him. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, "you just caught me by surprise." He looked away, not knowing what to say. She didn't either. "I just, I don't know if..."

"Dick," she crossed back to him, "if you don't like me, I can handle it, or if you're still in love with Willa, just please forget this ever happened."

"I don't know," he watched her roll her eyes, "Barbara, we've been best friends forever. What if we messed that up? And I'm a little confused," he admitted, "I know it's not fair to you, but I am. I won't lie and say Will isn't in my head," she looked away, hurt, "but I also can't lie and say I... don't think about you too."

She looked back up at him and he shifted awkwardly. "Well, I'm no one's rebound," she finally stated, arms crossed.

Dick held his hands up in surrender, "I know."

"So maybe we can just... take it slow?" She asked, "if that's something you want."

He looked into her eyes, the eyes he had known since he was a kid. "I think so," he said and gently took her hand, "but emphasis on the slow."

"You're such a dork."

She started walking and gestured for him to follow. He jogged to catch up and they walked out away from the rink together.