The Girl in the Green Dress

Chapter Two

Warm water poured over me as I kneel down clutching my chest it the shower. Music plays loudly as my body shakes as sobs rack through me. I gasp trying to force air back into my lungs but it seems almost impossible. Panic rises in my throat, but I make make my body relax as I try to hold onto whatever emotional stability I have left. I turn my head looking around in a daze. Laying beside me on the shower floor is the only thing that keeps me grounded. The only thing that keeps me somewhat sane. The only thing I’ve been able to turn to in the past few years when things get bad. It’s sharp edge is the only thing that gives me some relief of all the emotions overwhelming my body and mind. I grab for the blade like a drug addict would a needle with their own destruction. I bring the blade down to my inner thigh and hold my breath as I apply enough pressure to cut through my creamy, pale skin. My lips quirk up into a half smile as I repeat the motion until I’ve got my fix.  I hardly feel the sting of the water rinsing away the blood from the marks I made. Cutting myself is like a temporary high. For a few moments I soar, I fly high, and go places I’ve always wanted to go. My high usually lasts a few days sometimes even weeks. Everything is good. I feel relaxed and happy, that is until I start to fall back down from my high.

Everyone knows the laws of gravity, It’s like one of the first things you learn in science classes. So you should know that everything that goes up must come down. It’s the same with a temporary high. When I come down from a high, I don’t just land gently back down on earth. I crash so hard that it feels like instead of just landing on the surface of the earth, I go one hundred miles beneath the surface.