Eyes Full of Stars

Chapter 6

Kylo has not slept since he dreamed of Luke betraying him. The moment his Uncle stood over him with his wand pointed towards him cemented his fate. How could he go on if his own family did not trust him?

I was just a prop to them, someone they could use for their political games.

He thought his confusion would end once he had done the unthinkable, killing his father; it has only led to more conflict. Kylo feels like he doesn't belong anywhere, no longer finding strength in his use of dark magic.

I'm being torn apart. Why can't I move on from my past? I need to let it die, all of it.

The ghost from his past haunts him, and he sees nowhere he can go; no future that would accept him with open arms.

Standing in front of his window, Kylo tries to slow his racing thoughts from consuming him.

The studio apartment he rents, under a false name, allows him to feel at ease. He enjoys the solitude this place gives him, the way he can just disappear and be himself without having to worry about anyone's expectations.

The room is sparsely decorated with few pieces of furniture; just a bed in the center of the room, a bookshelf, and a chair by the window. He has no intention of making the place his home, trying not to get comfortable in his current situation.

The Dark Lord was right about them. He warned me, told me they would turn on me. But I was too weak to see them for who they truly were.

But even with the proof of his family's betrayal, Kylo can't help doubting his master. He wanted others to realize they don't have to restrict their magic. But not this, not the elimination of all of those who do not follow their rule. His master was also wrong about the girl, the girl that he can't shake from his thoughts.

She was there, she saw me.

The expression on her face was not contempt or her usual teeth-bearing look towards him, but one full of sorrow.

She has no reason to feel sorry for me. She said it herself I'm a monster.

He has been thinking back to their encounters anytime he has a moment alone, shielding his thoughts of her anytime he is near Snoke. He can't let the Supreme Leader know about whatever is going on. He wants to keep their connection to himself. Even if she does not enjoy their meetings, he can't help appreciating their moment together. She fascinates him like no other.

She has become the focal point of a story she was never supposed to be in.

Rey has replaced him, and he has to thank her for taking that burden from him. He sees her as his equal, the only one he can go against. As time has passed, he doesn't think he could fight her. Not anymore. The realization is not as surprising as he thought it would, rather he is comforted by it.

Kylo still fears some aspects of the connection. The only person who has seen the inside of his head is Luke and Snoke, one who tried to kill him and the other who rules over him. The persona that he has carefully crafted could crumble in an instant if she digs any deeper. The cracks of his former mask will reveal the conflict that still lingers beneath all of the darkness he surrounds himself in.

Even with these fears, Kylo can't stop wanting to see her. Wants to see why they are connected in such an intimate way, to see if they are equals put against each other. Kylo wants to understand where she fits into this story. Like him, she does not belong here.

It is as if his thoughts have transported her here to him.

He finds her on top of his bed, surrounded by his black sheets asleep. Curled into herself, Kylo notices how peaceful she looks. The way she lies in a pool of black fabric reminds Kylo of their roles in this feud, she will always be clouded by darkness if she is near him.