my girls [ Harry Styles A.U. ]

twenty six

30 weeks pregnant.

It has been two weeks since I left Harry. Saying that I don't miss him would be a lie, I do miss him, a lot but I can't find the strength to forgive him. I don't know if I ever will. I know he won't have a lot of problems finding someone else to be with, he's charming and affectionate, he's every girl dream man. I don't know if he'll want to see his girls or not, I would rather not. He won't be present enough for them to have a true father figure with his job.

I called my parents and Millie to let them know I was ok and that I was in Los Angeles with Kendall a week ago. I don't want Harry to know but knowing Millie she probably told him where I was so that he wouldn't worry. Looking back, I feel guilty for leaving him like that, without letting him explain his version. Kendall has been helping me a lot, she lets me cry and talk to her as much as I need.

Today, we've decided to go out and have dinner at the beach, she knows a good restaurant and she invited some of her friends. I'm getting ready for it. I did some online shopping and I found some cute clothes. The dress I'm wearing tonight is a black body con dress with spaghetti straps. Since I'm incapable of wearing heels with my back hurting so much because of the pregnancy, I bought some platforms flip flops, they're very comfortable. I get out of the bathroom and go into Kendall's bedroom.

She is wearing a blue jumpsuit with white versace heels and a white belt to her waist. Her hair is up in a high ponytail and she accessorized with some gold earrings and a necklace. She's doing her mascara when she sees me from the corner of her eye. " Hey, you ready ?" She says, struggling to put her bracelet by herself. I get up and walk towards her to help her with it.

" I am. You're beautiful by the way. I love your outfit." I take the purse that she gave me and fill it with my phone, my credit card and a chapstick. We walk out of the house and climb into her purple convertible. She starts the engine and we let the music on the radio fill the peaceful sound of the wind.

" You should call Harry." She says bluntly, looking at the road.

" What ? " I furrow my eyebrows and turn to the side to look at her.

"He's not doing great. I've heard he's been drinking a lot.. He isn't forgiving himself. Have you considered the fact that maybe he... he didn't cheat ?"

I let out an audible gasp. " You.. you're on his side ?"

"There are no sides Violet, I'm just trying to help out and to understand the situation." She avoids to look at me in the eyes.

"I don't want to call him." I cross my arms on my chest and take my newly bought phone to show Kendall that this conversation is over. I really love her but this is a decision that I need to do by myself.

Thirty minutes later, we arrive at the beach, Kendall parks the car and we are welcomed by the flashes of paparazzis. I stop my hand from shaking and look at Kendall who is collecting her lipstick and her phone to put them in her bag. Through the windows or the restaurant, I notice that Bella Hadid is already inside with some other people that I don't know. I've met Gigi once at my baby gender reveal party and she was really nice but Bella seems more intimidating for some reason that is unknown to me.

I feel nervous being around that many people that I don't know, with the paparazzis and being in a place so unknown to me. My social anxiety is starting to take over my normal self. I breathe shakily and slowly, closing my burning eyes, holding my tears, and get out of the car. Kendall looks at me and puts her hand on my back, guiding me inside the restaurant. I bet that she can feel my heart beating in my back. The buzzing in my ears make that I can hear her yelling at the paparazzis to stop as she is pushing me inside, hiding my face with her hand.