Crap Stories

#2: Anna, the Man Cat Woman.... Thing

Anna, the Man Cat Woman....Thing

Thirty years ago, I died. It wasn't a gruesome death mind you if you were feeling sorry for me which is highly impossible 'cuz you don't even know what happened.

The story begins........now!

~

I was wandering the streets after midnight when everyone should have been in bed. I turned into a gloomy alley and kicked the trash can. A hollow ring sound filled the night. Not caring whether I woke someone up or not, I chucked rocks at it for no apparent reason. A cat yowled and the eerie echoes filled my ears.

"Stupid cat," I whispered. "It's disturbing my only night out for the rest of the year.

As if replying, the cat yowled again. Annoyed, I went and searched for it. As I walked deeper into the alley, the air got colder and colder. Pretty soon, I was shivering because I was wearing nothing but a flimsy piece of trash that Forever 21 rips people off with.

"Where is that stupid cat?" I sighed exasperated. "This is such a waste of my time."

When I turned around, as if on cue, something kept onto my back and buried its sharp teeth into the bare skin on my shoulder.

"Holy Crap! Get off!" I screamed.

Frantic, I rammed my shoulder into a wall and the thing on my back fell onto the concrete with a thud. It was a disgusting orange cat that reminded me of Crookshanks from Harry Potter.

Rubbing my shoulder, I have it a merciless kick sending it barreling into the darkness. I pulled my hand away and found it covered in blood.

"Crap, I better get this treated," I thought as ran back to my street staunching the blood flow with my hand as best as I could. I slammed the door of my house and rummaged through drawers to find the first aid kit. After a few moments I found it and disinfected the wound and wrapped it with bandages.

"I'll have to change it before I go to work tomorrow," I sighed as I went to bed without another thought.

~

"Ring, ring!"

I slowly opened my eyes and blinked at the sunlight filtering through the shades. I turned to my alarm clock and my eyes shot wide open.

"Shit!"

I shot up and immediately started throwing on clothes. I grabbed a piece of bread lying on the counter, scarfed it down, and stabbed a toothbrush into my mouth. I flew out the door and arrived at the café with 30 seconds to spare.

"Hurry up and get ready, the shift manager is coming!" Someone hissed at me.

I threw my stuff into the closet and stood in line along with my other co-workers. The shift manager came in at exactly 7:00.

"Anna, you're serving today," barked the manager and immediately moved on to the next person. I sighed and went to change my clothes. As I was changing, I saw the bandage from last night. I my morning rush I must've forgot to change it.

"Oh wells," I shrugged and wriggled into my uniform.

In 3............2..............1.............."Ding!"

A crowd of people rushed in and immediately started placing their orders. I sighed again and wished that I was somewhere else.

~

"Finally! It's lunch break!" I gasped and stretched out the kinks in my limbs. I changed into my street clothes and marched outside to buy my lunch. The streets were crowded and I had to fight my way through to the bakery. As I was pushing through the crowd, some hairy man sneezed onto my shoulder and some of his spit got into my wound.

"Ewww! That's so disgusting!" I whined.

I turned around to give that person a piece of my mind. He was already gone. Wiping of my shoulder, I continued to the bakery and bought my lunch. When I returned to the café, I scarfed it down and changed into my uniform again. The customers started filing in again as I took my place behind the counter.

~

When I returned home that day, I had a headache, my shoulder was throbbing and I just felt horrible in general. Without even eating dinner I just went straight to bed. I blacked out before my head even hit the pillow.

~

The next morning, my head felt unnaturally heavy. I sat up and rubbed my face. Was it just me, or do I seem unnaturally hairy today? I don't shave regularly but I know I shaved recently enough to have less hair than this. As I put on my clothes, I stubbed my toe on the bed post and howled in pain. As I bent over in pain, I fought a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

As soon as I saw myself, I screamed. The scream was so aloud my neighbors down the street could've hear it. I straightened up and ran to the mirror. I had freaking cat ears! And that wasn't even the worst part! I had a peach fuzz and a beard! I felt around my face and made another shocking discovery. I had Elvis Presley sideburns!

"What the freak is this?" I yelled and shut myself in the closet.

~

Thirty years later, the house that no one has lived in for thirty years is being demolished today.

"Let's go inside and clear put some of the stuff," said one construction worker.

"Sure."

As the two made their way inside the house, clouds of dust floated around making them cough.

"Let's see if there's anything in this closet," said the worker.

The two forced open the door and let out a yell.

"Woah! Is that a skeleton?"

"We'd better call the police!"

The two left the skeleton there and none of them noticed that the skull had two rather large unnatural bumps bulging on top. A tattered photo of a girl with cat ears and a beard fluttered to the ground beside the skeleton.

~