Crap Stories

#4: Jake the Sexy Long-Legged Pig

Jake the Sexy Long-Legged Pig

Once upon a time, on a farm far far away, so far that it didn't even matter where it was, there was a herd (flock, group, etc.) of pigs. All of the pigs got along very well but they all shunned one pig.

That pig's name was Jake. While all the other pigs were stubby and chubby, Jake had sexy long arms and legs.

"Hey guys! Can I join you?" Jake asked as the other pigs were eating garbage.

"No you long legged freak!" said the fattest pig.

"You're just jealous that I have long legs and you don't fatty!" Jake snorted.

All of the other pigs squealed and threw mud at him, but Jake dodged all of them and walked closer and closer to the fat pig. His beady little eyes were like black holes against his hot pink skin. He kept getting closer and closer. Those beady eyes became more and more squinty and creepy.

All of a sudden, someone picked him up by his long legs and started swinging him around like a cowboy swings a lasso. Around and around he went the wind whipping past his stubby ears.

"AAAAHHHHH! Put me down!" Jake squealed and all of the fat pigs just laughed in his face.

All of a sudden, the person threw him down on a hard surface with a loud crack.

"OWWW!" A high pitched voice screamed and Jake just looked around with his beady eyes, squinting at everything.

The person picked him up again and threw him out of the farm his long legs all twisted and broken. Jake squealed and cried for the help of the other pigs.

"That's what you get you freak!" yelled the pigs and they waddled away.

The fattest pig didn't walk away and Jake hoped that the fat pig would help him. Instead, the fat pig lashed out his curly tail and whipped Jake out of the farm and over the fence.

Jake, the sexy long-legged pig, was never seen again. Everyone lived happily ever after.

.....................................................................................................................................