The First Steps (A Hunter Hayes Fanfiction, Book 1 of the Hardships Saga)

Chapter Thirty-Five

❝self-esteem (pronounced 'sɛlf-'ɪstim or self-i-steem), noun
the love you hold for yourself❞

A week went by, and Lilly looked at herself in the mirror.

Fat, fat, fat, fat.

You're so freaking ugly, how is that even possible?

Why does Hunter date you? You must be some ploy until his real girlfriend comes along.

Vanessa was perf! Why is he dating a soulless ginger?

What a bitch.

Slut.

She's only in it for the money.

Little shit.

How dare she?

Hunter came into the room. "Ready, Lilly?"

She looked at her waist, feeling disappointed. "I guess."

"C'mon, let's just have a nice dinner and forget everything for a little while, okay?" he said quietly. He knew something was terribly wrong with her, but he didn't know what to say. He had tried and tried to tell her she was beautiful, but she didn't listen. She ignored everything but her phone nowadays, reading how much the fans hated her.

She failed to realise that she did have her own fanbase, because there were so many fans who loved her to pieces. But Hunter didn't know how to show her that, because she refused to believe it. It made sense. Sometimes, he could have a thousand messages saying what an inspiration he was, and the only one that mattered was that one where someone said he was a fag, a pretty-boy who couldn't sing if his life depended on it.

She didn't talk to him during the car trip to the restaurant, and Hunter hated knowing that this was the new norm. He hated seeing Lilly like this. Why were the fans so cruel sometimes? Why couldn't they just give her a chance?

They went inside and took a seat, and she hardly looked at him. "Hey," he said softly, and she looked up. "Try and have fun, okay? We're together now, and nobody can bother us."

Her phone went off, and just as she was about to check it, Hunter said, "Leave it. I don't want anything to ruin tonight."

She sighed. "Fine, but let me turn it to silent at least."

"Okay."

Very discreetly, she read the message she had gotten on Twitter. fugly bitch, go find another man, hunter's mine. ur so fat why does he even like u?

She put her phone down, turning it on silent and not saying anything to Hunter. The waiter came by and handed them menus, before leaving.

"What do you want, love?"

"Salad," she muttered. "You?"

"You're not fat, Lilly. Please, order something you want."

"I don't want anything. I want salad."

"Yeah, I can hear the determination in your voice to eat salad, really," he said sarcastically. "What do you want that isn't salad?"

"Oh for God's sake, who said I'm eating salad because I think I'm fat, huh?!" she snapped. "Maybe I just feel like having a goddamn salad today! What's it to you, anyway?!"

Hunter didn't say anything and just looked at his menu. About three seconds later, Lilly sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"It's not, and I feel horrible."

He didn't reply, and Lilly just looked down, feeling tears in her eyes. The one person who still liked her, and she had treated him like dirt. Of course she had. She was so stupid, so selfish.