The First Steps (A Hunter Hayes Fanfiction, Book 1 of the Hardships Saga)

Chapter Forty-Five

❝cope (pronounced kəʊp or kohp), verb

to effectively deal with difficult times❞

Lilly lay in bed the whole day again.

Hunter brought her food, drinks, everything he could think of, but nothing worked. She just lay there, feeling broken and sorry for herself.

"I'm not mad at you," said Hunter quietly. "Please accept that."

"I know you aren't," she breathed. "I'm mad at myself."

He sat down beside her and ran his fingers through her hair. He whispered, "You are the most beautiful girl in the world. Please, just listen to me."

"I don't want to."

"I love you so much, and I just want to see your beautiful smile every day when you wake up. I love it when you're happy."

"So you don't want me when I'm sad?"

"I do, of course I do!" He sighed. "But I hate seeing you so sad. Please, I know this isn't your fault, petal. Please."

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, beginning to cry, and Hunter lifted her gently, setting her head down on his lap for her to lie on like a pillow, and stroking her hair softly.

"It's okay," he said. "It's okay."

"It's not, and I love you too much to let this go on." She looked up. "We're getting an abortion, Hunter."

"We're not getting an abortion," he said firmly. "Listen to yourself, Lilly. You think that getting an abortion is worth it- just to make me happy?"

"Anything is worth it to make you happy, why don't you see that?" she asked. "I love you so much."

"Because it's meant to work the other way around, darling," whispered Hunter. "I love you more than life itself."

"You shouldn't," she said. "You shouldn't love me so much, but you do. Why?"

"I don't know why you think I shouldn't," he replied. "Don't look down on yourself. You're so beautiful. Please, don't be like this."

Lilly said nothing, but then whispered, "I'm having a baby..."

"We're having a baby."

"No, Hunter, for God's sake, I am. Okay? This isn't your baby. It's mine. It is not your baby. We aren't having a baby, I am."

His heart broke.

There was silence. "Hunter, I'm-"

"Don't say you're sorry. If that's what you really think, then fine."

"It's not what I think, I just-"

"Stop. I don't want to hear your excuses. I just..." He sighed again. "I'm sorry that I'm not the father, Lil, but what can I do about it except make up for it by pretending to be the father?"

"I don't know, Hunt. Please, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you. You're pregnant."

"Oh, what the hell," she said. "I just can't win for losing."

"Hey, don't think like that." He leaned down and kissed her temple, and she closed her eyes. "Do you want me to help you sleep?"

"Yes, please," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Hunt."

He brushed her hair away. "It's okay," he murmured. "Would you like me to sing?"

She nodded. "Do 'Wanted', please."

He lifted her back onto the pillow, and lay down by her side, singing 'Wanted' very softly. Soon, her breathing became slower and deeper, and she was fast asleep.