Once in a Lifetime

Ten.

Louis could just about make out Liam and Niall crouching around him, and yet the only person he could focus on was Zayn. Louis could see him. He could see Zayn standing just behind Niall and Liam, a hurt expression on his face as he stared blankly at Louis. He was dark, his clothes the ones that Louis remembered him wearing the day he took his life. He just stood there, looking across at Louis' crumpled body on the floor. Their eyes met, and Louis took a sharp intake of breath as he took in the pain and hurt in Zayn's harsh eyes. Louis opened his mouth to speak, to explain himself, but Zayn got there first.

"You didn't save me." Louis watched in shock as Zayn took a step forward, pushing between Niall and Liam so that he could get a better view of Louis. His eyes flicked between Niall and Liam, waiting for them to realise that Zayn was there, but instead of reacting in the way Louis thought they would, they just sickeningly smiled at their friend, moving out of the way so that it was just Zayn peering down at Louis' confused face. "You were my friend. My brother. You let me die, Louis." Louis wanted to explain himself. He wanted to say that he was sorry, that if he knew how bad it was, he would have done something. He wanted to tell Zayn that he regrets the mistakes he made and that he feels guilty for not doing more to help. He wanted to tell him that his friendship meant everything to him, and that if he could rewind time, he would have done everything differently. But, instead of being able to say any of these things, Louis sat in silence. He knew that no matter how true all those statements were, they didn't mean anything. He should have done something regardless of whether he knew how bad it was. He shouldn't have made the mistakes he did. He deserved to feel guilty and regretful. He couldn't rewind time, and now it was too late to do anything differently. He watched as Zayn leant forward, his cold breath tickling Louis' ear, sending shivers down his spine, causing him to close his eyes in fear. "You killed me."

Louis opened his eyes again. It was still dark, and he was still on the cold, hard grass. He could see Liam and Niall's blurry figures a few steps away from him, and he could hear the gruff voice of his coach on his other side. That was when he felt a presence behind him. A streak of panic flooded his body. Zayn. He blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the bright lights around him. Whoever was behind him shuffled forward, their hand carefully removing Louis' fringe from his face. "Hey, um, you're awake." That wasn't Zayn. It was too kind for the Zayn that Louis had just encountered. Zayn was angry, but this voice was full of care and concern. Louis moved his head slowly, his eyes focusing on the long, curly hair above him. Harry. "Don't worry, we asked all the fans to, um, leave. Some of them would have seen you collapse but we tried to, uh, shelter you as much as possible. Are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?" Louis shook his head, smiling gently at Harry who smiled back at him. From this angle, his dimples glistened from the glare of the flood lights.

"Louis, mate, are you alright?" Niall asked, coming down to Louis' level and putting the back of his hand to his forehead. "You're so cold, here, have my jacket."

"What the hell happened?" Liam asked, helping Louis to sit up so that Niall could put his jacket around his shoulders. Louis shrugged, watching as Harry walked over to the coach and started a conversation with him. "Oh, well, shall we get you home soon? You could probably do with a shower to warm up and Harry said you'll probably need to rest." Louis nodded, not once taking his eyes away from the tall, tattooed man talking with his coach. Liam and Niall helped him up, his legs shaking beneath him as he found his bearings. It was at that moment that Harry looked over, his eyes clouded with worry as Louis took a tentative step forward.

"Um, do you want a hand getting him to your car? Coach said his stuff is still inside too, do you want me to, uh, go and get it?"

"I think we can get him there; he seems lighter than the last time we had to carry him home from the club when Zayn gave him too many shots and he could hardly walk. Do you remember that?" Liam laughed, looking to Niall who joined in with him. Zayn. Louis looked around again, his eyes darting in different directions. You killed me. Louis' stomach churned. You didn't save me. Louis vomited onto the grass, the remnants of the chicken pasta landing in front of him. He looked up, his blue eyes meeting with Harry's green ones. He hoped Harry could see how much Louis wanted his comfort. He wanted him to step in, to take him away from Liam and Niall. They looked at each other as Niall and Liam started to fuss about the sick, panicking that maybe Louis was unwell and needed to see a doctor.

"Guys, um, I actually have some basic first aid training so if you like, I can take a quick look and see if Louis' alright. I mean, um, if you'd like me to. I think he's fine but if you're worried, I can help him to the car whilst you get his stuff?" Liam nodded eagerly, looking at Louis to make sure that was okay. Louis nodded, not taking his eyes off Harry as the curly haired boy swapped places with the two, carefully putting his arm around Louis' waist. Liam and Niall went in the direction of the changing rooms whilst Louis led himself and Harry to the carpark. "Listen, um, for the record I don't think you're ill. I think you were triggered by a, um, a certain name. Look, you don't have to say anything, you should know that by now, but if you ever need help, please just ask me in some way. You can write it on a little note like you did on Monday. You can sign it to me if you, um, know any sign language. I actually don't know the sign for help, but I'd try and learn it if that was something you wanted. Or we could have a little signal, like if you clapped twice or something. Wait, no, those would only work if I were already with you." Louis listened as Harry rambled on, his voice slowly soothing Louis' mind. All he wanted was a shower. He wanted to wash away the feeling of Zayn breathing down his neck. He wanted to wash away the cold grass. He wanted to wash away the fear, the anger, and the pain. Once they got to the car, they leaned against the side, waiting for Niall and Liam to re-join them. Harry was still blabbering on about something, but Louis had stopped listening a couple minutes ago, he was too busy listening to the tone more than the words. "So basically, what I'm saying is," Harry continued, turning to face Louis, "if we're in a lecture you can do something to get my attention, if we're on campus but not in a lecture I'll either be in the gym or in the library so come find me, and if, um, if we're not at university at all then I live in a flat by the park so you can, um, come there at any time if you, uh, if you wanted." Louis nodded, but then he had an idea. He pointed to Harry's jean pocket, and Harry looked down confused. "What? Do I have something on my jeans?" he asked, chuckling as he inspected the black material. Louis shook his head, slowly reaching forward, pointing towards the object in Harry's pocket. He made the phone sign with his fingers, urging Harry to get his phone and give it to Louis. "Oh, you want to swap numbers. See, I thought about that, but, um, I thought maybe it would come across as too forward or weird, like, we hardly know each other, and I didn't know if you'd want a relative stranger's number on your phone." Louis smiled, grabbing Harry's phone, and putting his number in under the contact name 'Hot Chocolate'. Harry laughed when he saw it, his dimples showing once again.

"Lou, we've got your stuff, are you ready to go home?" Niall asked, glancing at how Louis and Harry were smiling at each other briefly. "Harry, honestly, you've been so great tonight. Thank you for looking after Louis and everything. Is he alright?" Niall and Harry conversed whilst Liam helped Louis into the back of the car, making sure his seatbelt was on before he closed the door. Once the other boys were in, Louis watched as Harry started to walk towards his own car. He turned around just as Niall started to drive out of the space, and Louis waved to Harry, his way of saying thank you for being there. Within minutes of driving away, Louis heard his phone ping in his bag. He got it out, smiling down at the text on the screen.

'Hi, Hot Chocolate. I hope you're feeling alright. See you Monday. From Tea, No Sugar.'