The Serpent and the Dove: a Loki Fan Fiction

Chapter 24

Loki's widened and he struggled to catch his breath. "... W-what?" he breathed in disbelief.

"I'm sorry," said Anith. "But she passed away just a few minutes before you arrived."

He felt like his legs might give out under him and he propped himself against the doorframe. "... Can I see her?" he asked. The healer's apprentice was about to decline, but he pleaded. "Please, just once more... I must..."

Anith and Sibbe exchanged a glance, then nodded solemnly. "This way, my Prince," said the elder healer, silently striding away into the darkened room.

The women stopped, allowing him to pass, and there, on one of the beds lay Jalwa. Despite her horrific injuries, they had cleaned away the blood and sewn shut her tattered body. She was dreadfully pale, the skin around her barely-open eyes a tired shade of gray, and her frame was devastatingly still. 

Loki could already feel his heart and his lungs fighting over each trembling breath he heaved as his eyes darted over her body. He hesitantly laid a hand on her unmoving side, and as the gravity hit him, his eyes welled with tears and he knelt beside her, pulling her into his arms. He struggled to take a breath, feeling as though someone had crushed his ribs, and his lungs exhaled a broken sob. "No," he cried. "No, this can't be how it ends between us. I had so many plans... So much left I wanted to learn, please..." Another sob broke his plea and he hid his face in her neck.

After a time, Anith touched his shoulder. "Loki, it's time." 

"No," he sobbed. "No, I can't leave her... I'm not ready..." He felt the healer shrink back and he looked over his shoulder at her. As he did, he felt Jalwa's body tense up and a painful gasp swelled in her lungs. She uttered a deep groan and her limbs cramped up in spasms. "Jal?" he asked with a tone of surprise and dread. "Anith, what's happening?"

Anith grasped Loki's arm and tried to pull him away. "I don't know. I've never seen a fresh corpse do this..."

Jalwa's body finally relaxed, and she was panting from exertion. Loki guided her face upwards to look at him. "Jalwa?" he asked. "Jalwa, speak to me, are you alright?"

She settled her eyes on him with a tired whimper. "Loki..?" she croaked.

He laughed hoarsely and enveloped her in his arms again, ignoring the wince she made when he did. "By Valhalla, you're alive! How did this happen? I don't understand, I thought you..."

Jalwa put her fingertips to his mouth to hush him. "You talk a lot," she said, forcing a smile. "I still feel really weak. Can you... give me a little time to recover before you interrogate me?"

"My apologies. Of course," he said. He gently laid her back down on the bed and rose to his feet, his hand lingering on hers as he did. As he left the room, she heard him whisper over his shoulder. "Rest well, dove."

"I swear by Odin's remaining eye if you're pulling our leg..." muttered Sif.

"I'm not, I swear!" said Loki. "She'll be out soon, I'm sure. She just needed to rest."

Thor flexed his ankles where he sat, his hands steepled in front of his mouth. "I hope you're right, Loki. I don't know if I'll be able to live with myself if she truly is dead..."

"Trust me, she's alive."

"Says the serpent," Sif mused, tilting her head back to look at the ceiling and avoid Loki's narrowed gaze.

Jalwa walked into the hall where they were all waiting. She looked at each of them and dipped her head. "I just wanted to show you all that I'm alright," she said. "As much as I'd love to stay up and talk, I'm still exhausted. I hope you all understand?" They affirmed in silence and she hummed sleepily. "Goodnight, my friends."

Sif and Thor watched her walk away before carrying on their own quiet conversation. Loki, however, couldn't take his eyes off her. Silently, he slipped away through the shadows and followed her to her chambers, stopping the door before it closed.

She drew back the sheets and was about to dress for bed when she noticed she hadn't heard the door shut. Jalwa looked behind her and gasped when she saw him. "For God's sake, Loki!" she hissed. "I thought you know better than to sneak up on me!"

He snickered. "Apologies. I did learn from the best, after all." Loki came in and let the door close behind him. "Now that you're out of the healer's chambers, is there perhaps something you wanted to talk about..?" he asked suggestively. 

Jalwa let out a long, relaxed breath and she settled beneath the sheets. "... Actually, yes, there is something I'd like to talk about." 

"Of course," he said, carefully seating himself at the foot of her bed. "Go on."

"I was talking to Thor about you on the way to our hunt; how you've been doing better, and about our last conversation." She cleared her throat, feeling an uneasiness take hold of the room. "He told me what kind of effect I had on you before I left and that you hadn't ever given up those feelings..."

Loki stiffened and crossed his legs away from her. "Ah... Of course, he did..."

"You shouldn't be embarrassed," she said, reaching out to touch his arm. "I'm honestly quite flattered." She sighed. "Look, I told you how I felt about this; how I felt uncertain, even after all the progress you've made. I told Thor that I was worried that forgiving you might make you think that I've forgotten what you did, or that I'm giving you permission to do the same thing again." The expression on Loki's face turned heavy and wounded. She looked down at her hands, feeling a lump swell in her throat. "However," she continued. "He said something that gave me a new perspective. To put it plainly..." Jalwa pursed her lips in thought. "Loki, I forgive you for what happened in Midgard, and I hope that you can forgive me for holding a grudge when I can clearly see you trying to be better."

He sat in shocked silence. "You want... My forgiveness?" he asked. "I never would have expected that." Loki inched closer so he sat beside her. "I forgive you." With a smile, he added softly, "Thank you..."

She touched his arm. "Can we move forward from here? This time with more trust?"

Loki smiled, putting his own hand over hers. "I think we can manage that."