FORGET YOU LAUREN

CHAPTER 33

This is where things start to fall apart
Track 24: Mean (3:47)
Camila POV
A week later...
"I can't believe I'm dating Greg Charleston III," Dinah said, sitting next to me at Gayle's on a Thursday night. We had resisted waiting for an hour for a table in the rain, and the waitress was making our night so long with endless cups of hot chocolate.
"With all the guys on this campus, I decided to go to one of the biggest idiots. The guy who came to me with the worst line I've ever heard."
"He is also the mayor's son." I smile, drinking my drink. "Wouldn't that make dating him a little better?"
"No way". She laughed. "Sex does that."
"Is it good?"
"Well it's not even the right word for that." She waved to him and Lauren when they entered the diner. "I haven't been a day without orgasms since we started dating."
Lauren kissed my cheek before sitting next to me, and Greg signaled to the waitress.
"Sorry, we're late," Lauren whispered. "Greg wanted to stop to buy Dinah's birthday card."
I raised my eyebrow. "That's not until next month."
"He wanted to buy it before he forgot."
"Hey!" Greg shook his finger. "No whispers tonight, enemies. It's a three-week celebration night and you'll have a lot of time later to do this whispering shit."
I shook my head. "What exactly are we celebrating?"
"We'll be getting a new roommate soon," he said, laughing. "But more importantly, Lauren moving to New York to study business next month."
WHAT? "Sorry, what?" I looked at Lauren. "Next month?"
She nodded, smiling. "I decided the other day. I planned to present all the details tonight as I know you will have many questions. You can even join me this weekend when you leave for my pre-campus visit. I'll be there for a whole week, but I'd love you to be with me for a few days." She kissed my cheek and my blood froze.
"For the dreams of New York!" Greg raised the glass to toast, and Dinah and Lauren joined him.
I faked a smile and leaned back on the booth.
"For the dreams of New York!", everyone said in unison once again.
I was quiet and heard Lauren tell them everything she was looking forward to in New York, all the plans and preparations she had made without letting me participate in anything. Because she had many credits and all teachers conspired to resign her last semester of elective subjects, she would receive two degrees in winter.
Not that she was able to attend her undergraduate degree, though.
There was a precampus visit this week, an orientation session two and a half weeks later, and after a final week of intensive placement and specialty tests, she would attend classes six days a week when January arrived.
When Greg insisted on showing Dinah the famous "Carter & Ari" booth across the diner, I cleared my throat.
"Lauren?"
"Yes?" She smiled, turning me on and making me temporarily forget that I was upset.
"Can I talk to you outside for a minute?"
"Sure". She got up and clasped my hand, taking me through the dining room and outside in the rain. She let out an umbrella and held it over my head, taking me to a nearby alley.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"I could swear we said we would talk about our future before making any decision."
"No, we said we would only talk about it later," she said. "This last part has never been agreed, mainly because you have already made your decision."
"My decision doesn't count, because it's the right one." I crossed my arms. "If you go to New York next month, where does that leave us?"
"What do you mean, where does that leave us?" She rolled her eyes and stepped back, letting me hold the umbrella. "We're still going to be together, Camila. It's just New York, and I can fly back to see it on Sundays. Or I can fly to you to see me whenever you want."
"Let me get this straight..." I paused, feeling my blood start to boil. "I'm willing to stay here for a year and a half, to take stupid courses, just to be close to you, and couldn't you tell me you were already moving to go to New York? You didn't just decide on this 'the other day', Lauren. You knew."
"I also knew how you would react, so I thought we'd better talk about it in private."
"Oh, yes? Well, how is this line of thought going so far? Is this better than you imagined?"
"It's shockingly worse." She shook her head. "But I'm doing my best, and as my girlfriend you need to respect that."
"If you really thought this was the best, you would have told me before Greg," I said. "If this show is what really makes you happy, you'd talk about it as much as you talk about 'we' and writing."
"I haven't talked about 'us' since you couldn't even try to be happy for me." She clenched her jaw. "And this may not be my dream show, but the work I will receive later will help me with the bills as I write. If you want to hear about change, maybe I can explain."
"I'm listening, Lauren," I narrowed my eyes to her. "I just can't hear all the nonsense. If I knew you were going to New York, I would have..."
"Done the same damn thing." She hissed . "You stay here because it's the most romantic option, because you're unable to make logical decisions and you base everything on how you feel and what you read in your damn romance books." She approached, looking at me. "Instead of going to college like a normal person, you joined Semester at Sea because you were angry about something I said."
"I was mad at something you did."
"Same thing". She shrugged. "Look where this took you. You are a year and a half behind in credits for spending three years on a ship you hated, all because someone hurt your damn feelings. You are willing to stay and take useless courses to be around someone you have been dating for only a few months."
Silence.
The rain fell a little harder, and none of us said a word for several minutes. My heart accelerated with the cold description of our relationship, and hit hard against my chest.It begged me to leave and finish this later, before saying something I might regret, but I stood still.
"As much as I'd like to stay here for another semester and spend more time with you," she said, sighing, "I have an opportunity that will give me an MBA in less time, so..."
"You don't even want an MBA, Lauren!" I interrupted her. "That's my shitty point! You are afraid to take a risk and do something different because the result is not guaranteed."
"Now you're finally thinking like a logical person," she said, her voice terse . "Congratulations. It only took you twenty years."
"Fuck you".
"I'm too upset to think about fucking you now."
"You know that's not what I mean."
"That's what you should say."
"You know what?" I shook my head and stepped on the sidewalk. "Tell Dinah and Greg I'm not feeling well and I decided to go home. Or you can tell them I left because of my fucking emotions. Your choice."
"Camila...". She sighed and took my hand. "Camila, stop. Let me take you."
"Don't touch me." I pulled my hand back. "Go celebrate your new life, the one I'm clearly not a big part of since I've been dating you for a few months."
"That's exactly what I'm talking about." She grinded her teeth. "Just because I do something you don't like, you decide to leave."
"You did a lot of things I don't like, Lauren," I said, handing her the umbrella as the rain fell harder. "Some of them went at my own expense, but they were always genuine and always made some kind of sense."
"This decision also makes perfect sense." She returned the umbrella to me. "And the only person who is questioning where we'll be next is you." She ran her hand through her hair. "I'll be around whenever you want to talk about it like an adult. Maybe a few days when we both calm down?"
"Sure," I said. "We can talk about this when you get back from your pre-campus visit in New York." I stepped back and called a taxi. "I'm not returning to your celebration party."
"You wouldn't be the Camila I know if you did..."