Angel of Death

Chapter 26: Just nothing

He stops walking and turns around. He tries to grab my arm but I jerk away once again.

"Don't touch me!"

"Stop yelling, you're causing a scene." He says calmly as if I'm the one overreacting.

He's right though, some students might find it more interesting to listen to me yelling at Harry than to be in time for class.

"I don't care. You're driving me insane. You think you can just push me around however you like but that's not how it works!" I say and Harry sighs.

"Calm down. You're overreacting."

"Overreacting? Me? I'm not the one planning to kill me!" I say and I can hear giggles coming from some of the students. They must think I'm crazy.

"Stop yelling. We'll talk later." He's getting impatient and he brushes his hand through his brown curls.

"What's going on here? Isn't it Miss poor and ugly and Mr. Handsome?" Haley shoves her head in between Harry's and mine and I sigh.

Not now.

"Go away." My voice is full of hate and I'm glad it is. Because right now I don't seem to care anymore.

"Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." She rolls her eyes at me and then turns them to Harry.

"Isn't she being annoying? I always tell her that's why she doesn't have any friends but she never listens." Haley smiles and people start laughing around us.

"At least the few friends that I have aren't fake. Yours are only hanging around with you for your money." I say and her cheeks start turning a lighter shade of red.

"Well at least you don't have to worry about that."

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry my dad isn't the owner of Coldwater's Toyota dealership."

"Yeah, because your dad is dead."

No one laughs, people just stare at me waiting for my comeback. You can literally feel the tension in the hallway. I just don't believe it. I mean, I knew how rude Haley was but how low can she actually sink? Shoving it in my face like that as if I didn't already know. As if I hadn't suffered enough already when he died.

"Fuck you, Haley." I say and start walking away.

It's the wrong direction but I don't care. I can feel how my tears start building up behind my eyes and I hurry towards the girl's toilet room. I lock myself in one of the stalls and then just let all of my tears fall.

I don't care if I'll miss English class, I don't care if I'm a mess and I don't care that Haley must be standing there proudly smiling knowing she got to me.

How could I let her do that? Insult my father when she knows how hard it hit me when he died. I always felt that I had to protect my father, whenever anyone was talking about him. Because he wasn't here to protect himself so it was my duty to keep his name clean.

I always imagine how he smiles so that he gets wrinkles around his sparkling eyes, how he kisses me on the forehead and tells me I did good. That even without him being by my side I still managed to make it out good. I still managed to be the girl he always wanted me to be.

But right now, sitting here on the toilet not being able to stop my tears from streaming down my face, I don't feel like he'd look down at me proudly. He wouldn't want me to just sit here, hiding. And I hate myself for doing it.

But I feel safe this way. Hunched between four walls where no one could ever hurt me again. Where no one could ever get to me.

"Alex?" His soft voice searches it's way through my mind and I try to shut it out. I don't want him here and I don't want to hear his voice. I don't want it to intrude my head and make all the anger disappear, I need the anger. I want it, it makes me strong.