Sweet Betrayal || L.H

Chapter 1

Waking up was never the highlight of my day. Infact it was always the exact opposite of the highlight of my day. And I know what you're thinking ''Waking up is no ones highlight'' Yeah yeah i know. But waking up for me was so different. I was in a terrible situation called Suicidal. Ever heard of it? It's a fucked up feeling that makes you wish you weren't alive and makes you consider ending everything. I have countless scars from the you know what. Yeah i know it's stupid ''Cutting just makes things worse'' ''Cutting only hurts you more'' Okay i know i heard it from everyone. My Uncle found a bloody razor in the bathroom once and long story short, I see a therapist once every two weeks on a Friday after school.

I've heard every consoling word in the book, not to mention the patronizing pet names '''Sweetie'' ''love'' ''darling'' you know all that bullshit. I don't cut anymore though. There's no point anymore. All the pain I was trying to achieve is developing by itself which is fun.

I have a really nonchalant tone when i talk about my own condition because it really means nothing to me anymore, it's my life so it's same old same old now. I seem like i wouldn't care about anyone else, but that's my problem. I care too much about everyone else. That's what first ignited the flame of sadness.

From a young age I just wanted to make people happy, but obviously that's not possible. My mum wouldn't let me watch charity tv shows because i'd get so sad and get mad when i wasn't able to donate to make their life better. When I was four my parents split up and my mum got really sad. I was always battling to make them all happy but they were at each others throats and it was impossible to be in a room with them and maintain a smile. My mum felt so alone no matter how many times I told her i was always there for her. She still loved my dad, you could tell. So, when he got remarried she got really really sad.

I was eight when she left us.

I was at school and i was taken out of lesson and i went to the school office and my aunt was there. Her face was bright red and tear stained. I can remember asking what was wrong and she put the context into a metaphor. She told me that my mum was an angel and god had called her back to heaven so she left and she wouldn't be coming back because she had to see my nana and granpa and catch up. I wasn't a dumb child. I knew she had killed herself. But i played along to make things easier.

Me and my auntie played happy families for about five years after that, because my dad's new wife didn't like kids. But my uncle got transferred to Australia and everything changed again. I played along again to keep everyone happy but it was getting harder to keep people happy. Before I knew it, I was spending my 13th birthday on a plane. i remember landing and going to this massive house in the suburbs of western Sydney. It was made mainly of wood and glass. There were three stories and it seemed like a palace. It was easy for me to fall in love with Sydney and it's happy people. They all loved me because apparently British accents go down really well there. I never lost my accent so every time i go somewhere people as me if i'm newly immigrated.

It was weird there for the first few weeks but i remember the day everything seemed much easier.

There was a knock at the door and i raced down the wooden spiral staircase and opened the grand door. Standing infront of me were a family of 5.

''Hey we're the Hemmings's''The short Blonde lady said. ''I'm Liz, This is my husband Andy and these are our sons Ben, Jack and Luke. We live next door.'' I smiled politly at my new neighbours. ''Hello, I'm Liberty.''I said shyly with a polite nod of my head. I scanned them all over, trying to remember who was who. I shook all their hands.

''Do you want to come in, meet my auntie and uncle''I offered. ''That would be lovely''Andy accepted. I showed them in and called down my aunt and uncle. The greeting process restarted again. The new names and hand shaking. Frankly it's rather boring when someone's being introduced to someone else. ''Why don't you show the boys round, Lib''My Uncle said, which i figured was adult talk time, so i just nodded.