Almost a Garden Gnome

Chapter 9

***As told by Eddie***

"So, did you like my sign?"

And as I've come to expect—no sense of alarm. Not even the least bit shaken. Just another near-death experience to add to Perrie's ongoing list.

I reel in my thoughts and take in the view of her little nook in the tree again. It wasn't very hard to put it together that she lives here; after I came back outside with my sunscreen and the 'love note' in-hand, shooing away a squirrel, my eyes followed that squirrel scurrying up a tall oak tree, and that's when I saw it:

"WELCOME EDDIE"

It was scribbled in blue pen on a blanched white sheet of printer paper—suspiciously, not unlike the note—looking strikingly out-of-place as it hung loosely from the treehole.

Speaking of the note...

"Uh-" I begin, giving her a quick look-over to make sure I didn't hurt her, "Yeah, I do. The sign looks very nice. I feel very welcome," I nod. "It also answers the question of where my blue pen went," I raise my eyebrow playfully.

"Well, on my way out, I realized I forgot to sign it, but I was afraid you would get back up again. So instead of dillydallying, I just brought the pen and paper home with me and made a sign out of the same stuff."

"One sheet of paper is bigger than you. That had to have taken you all night!"

"I didn't want you thinking someone else left it," she smiles.

"Don't worry, I had a pretty good idea of who it was. The only other person who lives around here is the old man across the street, and he's not the type to leave that kind of note," I blush.

Perrie hugs my thumb and burrows her head into the pad. "You're so funny, Mr. Man!" This looks like progress, I think, content with myself that I didn't flinch.

I look to the sign, then back at her, then back at the sign. She must know my name is Eddie; it says it on the sign. Why isn't she using it? Is she afraid to?

"You know, you can call me Eddie, Perrie," I explain, "unless you... want? ...to call me Mr. Man?"

"Anybody can call you Eddie-" she begins, swinging on my thumb like monkeybars,

"But I-" she continues, bouncing onto my wrist,

"Like to call you, Mr. Man," she grins, crawling up my arm. I am trying so hard not to flinch right now!

"My Mr. Man!" she drumrolls on my shoulder, then stretches as high as possible to smooch my cheek.

"Well, that's all I've got for ya' today, Mr. Man!" She chirps, "I'll come see you tomorrow!" She starts, already skating down my arm again. "Wait-!" She pauses, then lugs something out of her bag. "Here-" she heaves, sliding something that looks like a rock into my palm, "-for you."

She taps on it, and it makes a distinct ringing sound. She grins ear-to-ear at me, then with all her might, leveraging her whole bodyweight, slams her fist into the dirty stone.

KLAAAAAANGG!

"It's a diamond! See? Indestructible!"

"Wh-wha-"

"Enjoy!" She waves, diving towards a bed of leaves.

"Wait, where did you get this?!" I holler.

"I spend a lot of time undergroooo-uuu-nnd!" She effortlessly descends, flashing me one last wink before scurrying back home.

Very confused, I stand there with the gem in my hand and nowhere to look.

"...Goodbye?"