The Roadtrip

thirty-one

They didn't have any showers, no places to eat. Just a parking lot, gas pumps, and a little convenience store.

Will followed me to the little store, he was gonna prepay. I was looking for a new pair of shorts.

I kept my head down as I entered the store. I didn't want anyone to see my face. Then I headed straight to the small clothing section in the back. It wasn't even a section just a rack with bucket hats, tourist t shirts, and luckily for me shorts.

I grabbed a pair while taking a quick peak at the TV.

And there it was.

Black and white camera footage from The Bellagio hotel. I watched my self take the gun from Will's hand and shoot the glass doors. I watched as the glass fell and Will and I made our getaway.

Scurrying to the cashier I tried to keep calm. The person behind the counter hadn't been paying attention to the tv. The cashier was a young girl too busy with her phone to notice. I grabbed two bags of chips and placed them on the counter along with my shorts.

"Thanks," I said as she handed me the receipt then turned away to use her phone again.

I ran out as fast as I could. Will was done filling up the car and as soon as he saw me he climbed back in it. The concrete lot was big, it was a truck stop after all. Would it kill them to have added showers?

Climbing in the car we drove off.

-

Will had one hand on the steering wheel and another buried deep in his bag of chips.

"A train?" I asked.

He nodded. "Where we need to go is far away," He said. "Plus, if our faces are on TV driving like you said driving through a check point at the boarder is not a good idea," He said.

"You know a lot about this stuff," I said. "It's all I know," He responded.

"But it doesn't have to be who you are," I retorted back quickly.

He glanced at me with a smile tugging on the corner of his lips. "Then who am I Maria?," He said. "Anything you want to be," I said. "Anything I want to be?" He said. I nodded, "You're not your parents you're not this life, you're you. You're Will," I said.

He didn't say anything at first.

"I never said I was like my parents," He said.

"You know what I mean. Just because they created you doesn't mean you inherited their bad qualities," I said. "Maria I don't think you get it," He said. "I get it, you're life has not been kind to you, but it does not mean it has to stay that way, you are not your bad experiences," I said.

"All I have is bad experiences," He said. "And I'm sorry things have been like that for you-

He cut me off.

"What's with you? Do you get a hard on trying to lay yourself down for people?" He says. Words failed to come out of my mouth. I just liked to help, I always liked helping.

"You're grandma," He started.

"When she died, how long were you alone?" He asked. "A little while," I said, my voice quieter. "Am I the only person in your life right now?" He asked. I thought back to the life I had, there was nobody.

I turned away to look out the window I felt a wave of sadness wash over me.

"Maria, it doesn't have to be more then this," He said. More then sex, more then driving through gas station to gas station, more then blank stares and quick lust filled actions. "Well I can't do this with you anymore," I said crossing my arms. "We haven't even started," He said. "I can't-" I groaned cutting myself off. "I can't ignore you're weird fucked up life and how much it's clearly affected you," I said.

"I'm not like that," I said. "I can see that," He said.

"So how long?" He asked. Images of the old wooden porch and screen door came rushing into my brain.

West Hallow

The town I grew up in. Where nothing ever happened and excitement went to die.

Christ

I bet the whole town had been ignited. An armed robbery and a hostage? I bet there were news crews down there by now. My coworkers, my life, everything was behind me. "Maria," He called out. "Almost three years," I said. "But I'm used to it," I said. "You said that before," He said.

"It's true, when I'm alone nothing bad happens," I said. "That's not true, I've been in plenty of situations alone where tons of bad things happen, I think you mean when you're alone nobody can abandon you," He said.

I looked at him. He was staring straight at the road.

"For so long, as long as I could remember I wanted to be alone. Always surrounded by family, criminals or both. I wanted nothing more then to be on my own taking care of myself. Not worried about anybody but me," He said. "Then my mom abandoned me for a year and came back with a new born baby," He said. "It was Bree," He said.

"It was the hardest year of my life, I hated my mom with everything I had in me but when she left I cried. And when she came back with the baby and I held her in my arms I knew I would never do the same to that innocent child," He said.

"But you left her!" I said. "And it wasn't an easy decision, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do," He said. "B-But you abandoned her!" I said. "I left her, I did not abandon her. I speak to her on the phone, I send her money, and she has Ben. She is not abandoned," He said.

"But you were planning too," I said. "Not because I want too, but because I have too, my mother killed her self and left me with two children, okay?" He said. "If I have to send them letters from jail to make sure they stay alive and healthy then so be it," He said.

"Why are you telling me all of this? I thought you didn't want anything more," I said. "I'm telling you this so you understand my life next time you think you can fix it," He said. "There is nothing left Maria, and I know you're gonna keep prying until you get in my head like you want. So I'll save you the disappointment," He said

"This is it, this is me. This is Will," He said.

"There is nothing inside and I'm not sure there ever was," He said.

Mount Vernon Train Station

We passed the first sign.

-

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