The Roadtrip

fourteen

R.I.P pop smoke. The albums fire asf. We lost him way to young.

-

"What?" Will asked. "I said no," I clarified. "Maria...." He dragged out. "What? You stole me from my life and now your pushing me away?" I asked. "Will, how many times do I have to make the same decision, how many times do you want me to say it?" I asked.

"How do you think this is gonna gonna end, huh?" He asked. His voice turning more serious. "Did you ever think about that? Do you want to end up in prison, that shits not a joke. It's a real fucked up place and if you stick with me that's were you'll end up," He said.

"There has to he other ways than committing crimes, right? I mean I know this was probably your last resort but there has to be something," I said. "Maria, stop," He said. "This can't be the only way, what about you! How do you think think this is going to end? It doesn't even make sense! You have your siblings, right? Aren't you going-" I cut myself off. It clicked in my head.

He caught the realization in my eyes looking downward in shame. "You were never planning to back, were you? This was a suicide mission, you were never planning to go back to them. You were fully prepared to go to prison, right? Do whatever is takes to make them enough money and then-then lock yourself away for good. Jesus, Will," I cried out.

"Will, you can't possibly be serious. She's fourteen," I said. "You just had to lay out basic instructions for her, and what about the sick one? Have you thought this through? Will, they need you," I said. His gaze was still downward. He was chewing the inside of his lip angrily as I spoke. "There has to be-No there fucking isn't! You don't think I thought about it? You don't think I've tried? I've tried everything. You name it i've tried it. Nothing. Nothing, will ever make enough!" He yelled.

"Fuck Maria! Do you know how much a kidney transplant cost? Out of pocket-no insurance? Its four hundred thousand dollars, you don't know the things I had to do to get that money, fuck and when I did it wasn't enough, he needs anti-rejection drugs to make sure the kidney works. Its fifteen hundred a dose and the fucking hospital bills. You think this was my first choice? You think I want to leave my fourteen year old sister and ten year old brother alone? You think I chose this because I wanted too? I thought about it real nice and hard for while and everyday I sat in the hospital watching him get sicker was another day lost, another day he could have been getting better, he's ten for fucks sake! He doesn't belong in a hospital, he belongs outside, playing around like other ten year old boys," He poured out, his voice raw, filled with emotion.

"Let me help you get the money, yeah? You don't have to do this alone, Will. Let me help you," I said placing my hand on his forearm.

He stared downward, trying to collect his emotions. He was trying to hide them. I spoke softly, "How were you getting money before?" I asked. He turned his head away. "Its okay, I won't judge you. Maybe we can figure out a way to do it again yeah? We already got thirty grand and then some. We only need a few more bucks to cover it all, right? How much medicine does he need? How much longer are is he in the hospital? He already got the surgery, Will. You don't have to go out like this, just let me help you," I said.

"I'm begging you Maria. Please go home. You don't deserve this," He said still staring downward. I chewed my lip. "Do you really want me gone?" I asked. He said nothing. "Look me in the eye and tell me you want me gone. Tell me you don't even want to consider a life were you go back to them," I said.

"Look me in the eye and tell me," I said.

He lifted his head up and we locked eyes. His brows were furrowed in worry and distress.