I said I needed space

16. Champagne

I SAID I NEEDED SPACE~ CHAPTER 16:

~~Champagne~~

INTRO:

"I have something for us," I say to them

"What?" they reply and I lift the bottle up

"Champagne?" Ally asks

"Yes, it's for a toast- for us, for our new house," I say and they smile

"Definitely," Jakes says

...

As soon as my shift ends, I leave the cafe in the safe hands of another employee so that they can close. I then quickly head to the nearest alcohol shop and buy a bottle of champagne. As a legal adult, I can buy alcohol and I think that we should be celebrating getting the house of our dreams right now.

On the way home, I grab Lola, Ava and Ellie. They are at one daycare whilst Saskia, Jackson, Amelia are at another. Jamie and Noah attend school. Jake picked the older kids up, and Ally grabbed the middles. I think that it is funny that we have now formed little groups for the children.

I walk into the alcohol shop and grab the cheapest and nicest alcohol that I can find. We are doing bougie on a budget. I grab the bottle and laugh, I feel like such an adult these days. I walk to the counter where a brown hair, brown-eyed young cashier is serving. I place it on the counter and he looks up at me

"Good Evening," I say

"Hello there- celebrating?" he replies and scans my bottle

"Yes, it seems so doesn't it," I say back and he flashes a cheesy grin at me

"What does a pretty girl like yourself have to celebrate," he asks me

"Ah lots of things, a new house-" I begin, but he cuts me off

"Do I get to come to his house?" he asks me

"Ah no, I have 3 kids" I reply and his grin fades away and he goes silent, he finishes my order and I pay, he puts my bottle in a bag and deems me goodbye and I walk out. I don't think I am ever going to find someone again. No one is going to want a girl with 3 kids.

I get in the car and drive to the daycare. I pull into the last spot in the line and park, sitting in my car for a moment. I guess I am going to have to accept the fact that I am always going to be a mother. I am no longer Avery Davies, a student, a girl who doesn't know what she wants to be, a cafe manager, a nobody. 

I am now Avery Davies, a single mother. I sigh and grab my keys and my id, and walk through the front gate of the daycare. I pin in the code to let me in and go to the reception where I flash my id so they allow me to get the kids. I am allowed into their room and I spot the 3 of them easily, they are playing and throw a fit when I try to tell them it's time to leave. After lots of screaming and show throwing, I have all 3 kids in the car and silent on the way home.

When we pull into the driveway, Jake and Ally are home and I can see Billie from the kitchen window laughing which is a good sign. I release all of the kids and they run-up to the front door and knock where Jake lets them in. I walk in beside them and bring all 3 bags inside. I then greet my oldest and the rest of the kids before I walk into the kitchen where I can smell bolognese sauce cooking.

"Well something tastes delicious," I say and they laugh

"How was work?" Billie asks

"It was good but busy" I reply and she nods

"I have something for us," I say to them

"What?" they reply and I lift the bottle up

"Champagne?" Ally asks

"Yes, it's for a toast- for us, for our new house," I say and they smile

"Definitely," Jakes says

"We need a little more happiness in our life" Billie replies and we all laugh. Ally grabs the wine glasses from the cupboard and we try to open the champagne whilst the kids are occupied. Once Jake finally gets it open and we clean up the massive mess we made, we pour the glasses and toast to our new house.

We take a sip of the champagne, and I almost gag at the taste. It is horrible. I screw my face up and pull the glass out in front of me inspecting the liquid, and it truly is disgusting.

I see Billie spit it back into her mouth and Jake awkwardly swallows it whilst Ally's sip enters her cup again. We all place our glasses down.

"That is fucking disgusting" Jake says

"Horrible" I reply

"Honestly, fuck adulting" Ally adds

"Agreed" Billie replies

We laugh and the timer goes off for the food. So one by one we dish the kid's food and bring them to the table to feed them. Dinner is a painfully long process because the kids are so slow and get sidetracked easily. Once they finally finish bath time is longer because they make so much mess on themselves let alone the food area. We get them cleaned and we read a story or 2 before one by one they begin to drop by flies. By the time every kid is asleep, I am so exhausted that I am no longer hungry. 

Jake and Ally decide to head up to bed early and Billie is up in her room, so I have been tasked with dinner clean up. I have always hated cleaning up and I have never been good at it. I have always had a messy room and been unorganised and up until having kids my life was a complete mess and I was okay with it. Since having them I have realised how much more organised and prepared I need to be. 

Although it doesn't mean I don't want to do it. I grumble and pick up the sticky pasta from the floor, kids really are pigs and I shudder laughing because I was this bad. I wash and dry all of the dishes and put them away. The only thing left is the 4 glasses of disgusting champagne, which I decide to take another swig of but I instantly spit it out. It doesn't taste any better, and adulting is still hard. 

My life hasn't changed, and I know that. I quickly make my way up to the bedroom and tiptoe past a sleeping Lola and Billie, I get ready for bed and slide in beside them but I can't sleep so I flick through Instagram. I keep flicking past every photo, smiling, everyone is happy whether their kids went back to the orphanage or they kept them, they are all happy. 

This is until I get to the photo of Grayson and Anna and my smile falls again. Them being together makes me madder than I can possibly be. The words mine forever are still ringing in the back of my mind. I don't realise how long I have been staring at the picture, let alone that I am crying until I see little droplets on my phone screen. I hear Billie shift

"Are you okay?" she whispers to me

"Yeah" I whisper back to her and I wipe my eyes and turn my phone off

I still love him. I love him so much it hurts.

...