I said I needed space

3. I need space

I SAID I NEEDED SPACE~ CHAPTER 3:

~~I need space~~

INTRO:

"We leave in 10" she sing songs and I check my notification, and Grayson has now started to message me, his last message reads

please, call me, I love you - gray

Instead of throwing my phone at the mirror or out the window like I want to, I reply back

I need space.

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MY PHONE VIBRATES from the spot beside me on the blow-up mattress. I stare at the screen, Grayson's face appearing, it's a picture that he took when he spammed my phone.

His eyes are squinty and he's pouting, his lips planting a firm kiss on my cheek, and you can see me I'm laughing trying to pull away from him.

I look back at the blank wall in front of me, a lone tear rolling down my face.

"What is that? The fifth time he's called you today" Billie says, and I lift my head up to look at her, she's leaning against the door frame, her hair flattened, skinny jeans and a black tube top on, she's got a pair of frilly socks on, and a scrunchy on her wrist.

I lay back down.

"I don't know, better I don't care," I say and she walks over to me, lifting the duvet cover sliding in, I face her, laying on my side

"Your hair is straight, your going to mess it up" I reply, knowing how Billie is with her appearance especially her curly hair which she tames everyday, and she laughs,

"I can do it again," she says "anything for you," she says dramatically and she drapes herself over me and I am hit with a powerful memory

...

I place the straightening iron down on the towel that I placed on the vanity, smiling at my masterpiece, I finally have tamed my wild, always knotty, dirty, ugly poop colored- according to Saskia, wavy hair, into a neat, straight hairstyle.

I smile looking up at a shirtless Grayson, he's on his phone, playing some stupid game that we are both addicted to.

"Gray baby," I say and he looks up at me and his mouth turns upwards in an enormous grin

"Wow," he says and I get up twirling, he laughs and I smile "you're hot," he says

I walk over to the bed, and I climb onto his lap he smiles and runs his fingers through my hair, he then smiles taking them out, so I climb over him and put my head in his lap,

"You're gonna mess your hair up love," he says to me

"I can do it again" I reply "anything for you" I reply and he leans down to kiss me, smiling into the kiss.

...

"I've got nothing" I whisper

"You have your girls," Billie says "You need to be strong for them, you need to be their mother," she says

"I know"

"Then get up, get in the shower, wash your hair, shave your legs, and your coming grocery shopping with me, then Jake and Ally are going to come over, we are going to re-arrange the rooms" she demands

"Are you saying I stink?" I ask her smiling

"Yes, and I can't handle dirty people," she says "get out of bed you lazy bitch it's been a week and I'm over you" she adds and I throw a pillow at her.

The last week has been hell for the girls and I. They stayed with my mum and dad for a couple of days whilst we got things sorted. We set up the rooms like last time, and we used what we had, I took the week off of work.

The girls took a couple of days to adjust to being here, but have been happy ever since. Kids are very resilient, especially my girls, they have been through so much in the time they have been with me, but they are still happy, they still laugh and love to play outside, which is what I am grateful for.

For me, I've been in hell, when the girls don't need to be picked up or dropped off, when then they don't need to be fed, or bathed, or when they do not need someone to play with, I spend most of my time on the blow-up mattress, lying flat staring at the wall in front of me.

It's not doing myself any good, I am not feeling any happier, but it's been good for me, just to relax and have time on my own. I have had time to think.

I've found it harder this time, to try to understand what has happened, and why this has happened. I can't wrap my mind around it, and I can't understand. I just can't believe I fell for this again, I fell back into this stupid trap, and here I am, broken.

Grayson has rung me non-stop the last week, but I let every call ring out. I know he has been keeping tabs on me, and the girls, he has been seeing them as per usual, when they usually go to the park, when he picks them up from school, except for the fact that he drops them off here instead of taking them home.

I walk across the hall, to the bathroom, I flick the switches, turning the lights, and fan on, I turn the faucet on in the roomy shower, letting the steamy hot water run, tapping the tiles on the floor, creating an instant loud rainfall, which engulfs the room, the steam instantly hitting my face.

I close the sliding door, looking at my pale complexion, my once bright, dull blues are standing out in contrast to my face, due to my swollen, bloodshot eyes. They're puffy, my eyelids are scarlet red as well as my nose, from the continuous rubbing, and the rough tissues, that my lazy tight ass found in the cupboard.

I look ill, I have lost a significant amount of weight due to a lack of appetite over the week, my face is hollow and my cheeks are sullen, not to mention the grease mound, I have accumulated in my hair.

The oil I have kept hidden with a cotton headband has now stated to dampen. I run a brush through my hair pulling roughly at the knots, which are worse than ever, before undressing slowly. I drop my clothes into the dirty hamper, before testing the water.

It's burning hot, burning my skin, I flinch back and add some cold water, lessening the scolding temperature. I sigh, stepping into the shower, letting the warm water run down my back relax my tense muscles, I cock my head to the side, the water running down my back.

I stand in this position for what feels like hours, before I squeeze some shampoo into the palm of my hand running it through my hair, I massage it in thoroughly, before rinsing it out, adding some conditioner.

I then reach down from the soap to clean my body before the shaving cream, I grab the razor and remove the cap before shaving away. I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my body feeling like a new woman. Well sort of, and Billie pops her head in

"Thank god for your clean," she says and I smirk giving her the finger

"Grayson called you again," she says and hands me my phone

"We leave in 10" she sing songs and I check my notifications, and he had in fact called again but has now started to message me, his last message reads

please, call me, I love you - gray

Instead of throwing my phone at the mirror or out the window like I want to, I reply back

I need space.

...

WARNING:

this story will contain:

---- Swearing (which may cause offense)

---- Sexual content (as in references ya nasties)

----Moments that you will either laugh or scream

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO THE OWNER (ME)

2019 @ehardwick04