hyung | markhyuck

18

— Chapter Eighteen —

Donghyuck knew he was in denial. He knew he couldn't keep working like this with both the physical and psychological stress. He never got to rest like ever. His bones didn't want to carry his weight anymore, his face had become less full, the bags under his eyes had become more prominent.

Partly it was his own fault for staying up so long, talking with anyone he could find to keep himself occupied. Like Mark had once said, they liked being overworked. Both him and Mark knew nothing else outside of it and there was something so satisfying in the way Donghyuck's muscles were aching whenever he would go to sleep.

Well, not sleep because even when Donghyuck couldn't find anyone to talk to he stayed awake, now left alone with thought he was so desperately trying to push away. To his own annoyance most of them circled around Mark. Sure, he was thinking of his upcoming schedules, the album release in September but mostly he was thinking about Mark.

Donghyuck decided he hated the man. Mark Lee was just so... perfect. Every day he would check up on Donghyuck, would ask him if he was okay and why he didn't sleep much. And Donghyuck would always reply with the same lazy smile on his lips "It's because I can only fall asleep when listening to your voice."

By now his arms were bruised with how much Mark hit him while laughing as a response to his flirty reply. Donghyuck didn't complain though, as long as Mark wasn't actually disgusted with him, he was fine. Because as much as Mark thought Donghyuck was just joking and being his usual confident self, Donghyuck was actually telling the truth.

He found out that with Mark's absence from his bed, something was missing. Donghyuck needed him, needed to hear his voice or his breathing to fall asleep. He was aware of how creepy that sounded so he never told anyone.

Not that he hadn't thought about it though. He knew he could trust the people around him. Renjun, Johnny, Jaemin. They would never judge him and yet Donghyuck was too embarrassed to admit out loud just how attached he had grown to Mark in a way that was so different from usual best friends.

It all came together late at night. Donghyuck couldn't help but stain his pillow with tears, sobbing silently because he knew how long Jeno usually stayed up. He also knew he was worrying everyone around him. Mark hadn't been the only one to ask him if he was okay. Jeno, Johnny, Taeyong, they had all checked up on him but he had given his usual toothy smile, assuring that he was fine, a little stressed at most.

And so they didn't question him when he stayed in the practice room for longer than usual, wanting to perfect every move of the choreography. He had to do well, had to hide his pain so the fans wouldn't get worried.

It was another one of those nights, those nights where the thoughts became overbearing. Donghyuck knew he shouldn't but he took the taxi to their practice rooms. It was two am, the whole building was empty. The only reason why Donghyuck was granted access anyway was because he was allowed in the practice rooms at all times now due to their upcoming comeback.

His legs were tired, the weary bones wanting nothing more but to fall on the floor and rest. Donghyuck gritted his teeth, ignoring his body's wishes. He greeted the night guard and then searched for his favourite practice room. It was the one where they would always film their dance practices.

The amount of hours he had spent in this room, staring at himself in the fogged up mirror, practicing his body control while performing the hardest moves. Donghyuck smiled. It was what he loved, maybe even what he was addicted to. Why else would he drag his tired body here just to go over the choreography one, two, five, ten, maybe even twenty times.

Tears were pricking in his eyes. He couldn't tell whether from happiness that he had mastered the move or from exhaustion. He wiped them away, now finally authorising his body to fall to the floor. He closed his eyes, a smile on his lips as he felt his body finally rest.