Today I was diagnosed with borderline
It explained a lot
I gave it a thought and realized this has been my life
Since I was younger I remembered feeling intensely
My family always told me when I was younger that I had anger issues and it was true no one really thought to think twice though
It's been proven that borderline personality disorder is the hardest illness to live with but the hardest part about it is that everyday you have to think that this is cause from people, people in your life caused you to have so much trauma it created a mental illness that can't be treated. It's not like depression and anxiety and ptsd that can be treated or helped with medication, it cannot be treated . The ups feel so high like your walking on cloud nine and can do anything, you decide it's time to change and do something drastic like buy new clothes to be a new you or new foods to eat healthier. You try to find new hobbies or something to do that's fun, but the lows let me tell you about the lows. The lows are lower then low , you feel underground and buried, suffocated if I may say. The drinking or the drugs or the self harm whatever it is it's not stoppable and I think that's the worst part is that after the extreme high comes the extreme low, you just disappear from everyone including yourself.
