One shots and headcannons (discontinued)

🏳️🏴Child ¹

Technoblade

I was out just walking in a field when I heard movement. At first I dismissed it but when I begun to hear crying, ohh boy. I had my axe in hand as I approached the source of the crying. What stood in front of me was an oak tree and a bleeding man, I kneeled down and he looked up at me.

"I-I'm sorry to bother you sir but, can you take care of my child?"
I looked at him confused, but when I saw the child in his arms I hesitantly took the kid and asked.

"Why-"
I was cut off by his coughing.

"I... do not have much time left, please take care of Y/n..."
The man was now looking at the ground. I was confused, why would you ask a stranger to take care of your child?!

I stepped away from the corpse and walked back to the field, holding the kid carefully. They looked around two years old. Slowly I raised my finger up to its face and they grabbed it lookeding up, I was stunned when they smiled. Most kids would scream or cry, but this child, it-it smiled. I hate orphans— but this— this kid? I think their an exception.

I walked back to my house and was promptly greeted by Steve, he looked at the kid and smiled. He liked them. I set the child on the couch and started a fire in the fireplace. I went back to check on them just to see Steve cuddled up beside them. I picked them up and brought them to the kitchen grabbed some milk and found a bottle. I set them on the table as I washed the bottle, dried my hands then prepared the milk.

I carried them back to the couch, I sat down and gave them the bottle. They quickly started to drink and soon enough the bottle was empty. I brought it to the sink and they

began to shift around a lot, I placed them on my shoulder and patted their back until I heard a small burp. I sighed and held them up so I can look at them.

"You, are one lucky orphan."
They tilted their head in a confused manner. "Your lucky that Phil forced me and Wilbur to take care of Tommy when he was a baby or I wouldn't know what to do." I let them sit on my lap and Steve put his muzzle close and they grabbed it. "Your a grabby little thing aren't you?" I poked their cheek and they giggled.

Welp I guess I'm stuck with this... "Y/n" they looked up seemingly responding to the name. I'm stuck with Y/n. I sighed as they yawned. I hold them carefully as to not crush them. Steve joined in and slowly we all fell asleep on the couch.

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I woke up the next day to a knock on the door. "Hey, mate." Phil. I walked to the door with Y/n in hand. As soon as I opened it Phil and Ranboo stood there stunned. "Mate, why do you have a child with you?" I looked down and... yup! It wasn't a dream. "Okay one, someone got me to take them in. Two, their not 'normal' by standards. Three, I might need help.”

Ranboo was confused, as for Phil he burst out into laughter. "Sorry, its just- the last time you had to take care of a kid you took care of Tommy." he laughed remembering how Tommy would try and light a match and burn us. "Curse you old man." I said nonchalantly. I then noticed that Ranboo was looking at them. "Do... Do you want to hold them?" he enthusiastically nodded and I carefully handed him Y/n. "Do they have a name?" Phil asked. "Y/n."

»»———————►
A Year
»»———————►
Later
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"Y/n!" Phil looked at them sternly. "I'm back." I walk in seeing Y/n holding a knife. "You really rubbed off on them." Phil laughed as I go to pick Y/n up. "I'm not sorry old man."

*Kettle whistles* Angst, Fluff, Humor. Yup thats my weird ass. 🤣

Inspired by CreativenameUwU

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