admire || yang jungwon

eighteen

20 september 2018

it was pretty warm considering it was only just the start of spring. for the past three years, she had never really tried to put the effort into dressing up, yet today, she felt a small desire to dress up. just for him. her usual jeans and a hoodie were pushed to the side and she took out a few dresses and skirts that were hidden in the bottom drawer. skirts and dresses were definitely not her style, but she did like them on occasional days. in his eyes, she was always cute; her and her oversized clothing made her very lovable apparently, but today, she wanted to look more ... mature. she chose a denim skirt and a plain white shirt as well as a jacket to finish her look. she was about to give her face a few touches but makeup was really not her thing, so she decided against it. she grabbed a few essentials and stuffed it into a bag and then walked out, ready to meet him.

he was a trainee, very busy, having practice every day and only recently he and his group members went to US to train and learn. they had received a day off and she was more than happy when he called asking her to spend the afternoon with him.

"hey jian."

she spun around greeting the boy. she smiled and took a closer look at the boy. he had worn a casual blazer on top of a white shirt and a pair of jeans and he looked effortlessly perfect. her heart started racing increasingly as he walked towards her.

"hey." she replied softly.

"you look beautiful today."

her cheeks tinted pink while replying, "you look handsome today." without daring to look into his eyes.

he smiled before leading her to their destination.

han river.

it was everyone's wish to go out to the river with their significant other and just enjoy the company, admire the views and have nice food of course. the girl had specifically saved this moment for when she came with her boyfriend, but if it was the boy, she did not mind.

***

let's just say, they had fun. it was a mystery as to how they even managed to find so much to do at this one river, but they did. to be honest, the company of each other was enough to fill their hearts with warmth.

at this point, they were back in his practice room. it was their favourite hang out place. the girl could not help but to feel butterflies every time he said or did something. even at the slightest touches, she felt her heart racing. she really liked him. no. she might have loved him.

she looked up from the photo album, before turning to look at the boy who was already intensely staring at her. she felt blood rush to her cheeks as she unconsciously touched her cheeks asking, "is there anything on my face?"

no response.

there was an intense eye contest instead as the two started to fall into each other's eyes. he started to lean in and connected their lips. at first, she was shocked, but eventually she gave in and started to kiss back.

it was their moment, but a million thoughts ran through her head.

he's a trainee. he's going to debut and then everyone is gonna tell you to break up.

suddenly, her eyes flung opened and she pushed him away. she turned the other way, while leaving the boy slightly hurt, yet happy because now he knew she returned his feelings.

"jian."

she refused to look at him.

"jian i like you."

her heart dropped. yes her crush liked her back. yes she should've been happy, but she could not ignore the anxieties that came with it.

"i ... i'm sorry."

the boy's smile immediately dropped. "what ..."

she turned to face him, immediately struck with guilt as she saw the dejected boy.

"i'm so sorry taehyun. trust me, i really like, no. i love you, but we can't."

"why not?"

"you're a trainee taehyun. you're going to debut. everyone around us is going to say no."

"why ... why are you giving up before even trying?" he asked, on the verge of breaking down. "we can do this. no one can stop us. we can at least try." he said almost begging.

but the girl just could not ignore her anxieties that were taking over her.

"taehyun. we can't. it's not going to work. we just ... can't. i can't risk it. you can't risk it. we just ... we just have too much to lose taehyun." she said, tears welling in her eyes.

the boy stared at the girl, but the girl was beyond broken at this point and he could tell. they loved each other. they were perfect, almost like soulmates, but fate pulled them apart.

he pulled her into his embrace, caressing her back as he tried to hold his own tears.

"taehyun."

she pulled out of his embrace to look at him and with a soft smile she said,

""if we ever meet again and we still feel the same, maybe then, we can try again."

***

taehyun insisted on walking her home. it was dark and late and he could not risk her getting hurt. the walk was slow, both hoping to cherish their last moments, before it was really a goodbye.

in front of her apartment door, she turned around to give him one more smile, before slipping into her house. as soon as the door closed, she slid onto the floor, letting her tears finally fall.

he was no different. as soon as he entered his dorm, he broke down into tears. his members who had come out to greet him, was shocked by the young boy's sudden break down and rushed to comfort him. 

a/n:
- i shall try to continue this story cannot promise that it would be good 
- idk if this chapters any good but hope u guys like it :))
- am i the only one who takes a couple of hours to fall asleep ? like i could go to bed at 1am and only be able to sleep at like 3or4
- stay safe guys literally im back in lockdown not that im complaining. i need all the time i can get to study for my trials
- never got to talk abt how much i love txt's recent album. just saying i love it
- taehyun's cover got released like an hr ago im dying his voice is so nice
- fk and also enhypen's jap debut fk im actually dying theyre so precious
- also fell in love with jungwon again he's a wholeass child he's so precious