Crimson and Clover

No Paths Are Bound - Part 7

There aren't many people a ghost can ask for a blessing, which is why Xie Lian goes to kneel before the ancestral altar in Qiandeng Temple.

His family is the only one commemorated here. The tablet he carved for the wedding is proudly displayed, devoid of a speck of dust and surrounded by numerous candles he personally attends to. There's an empty space beside it, but Xie Lian still hasn't found the right words to ask about it.

Maybe after they're back and the world falls calm and quiet again, he'll give his thoughts and worries words that will be heard and understood.

He lights an incense stick and puts it gently into the burner. The offering goes next: the food he made that resembles the last meal his mother ever cooked for him the most. How she would have despaired if she had known her son returned after so long was a ghost, how she would have pitied him. And considering his mood those days, he wouldn't have treated her with the respect she deserved.

Everything around him turned to dust even on those early days.

Now he can only kneel before their spirits and hope for forgiveness. "Mother, father." The floor is cold under his knees and hands, but it's all right. He's cold, too. "I will be away for..." How long will it take? For San Lang, it was ten years, but Xie Lian doesn't need to slaughter everything that moves in Mount TongLu to gain enough strength to enter the kiln. Remaking oneself to the very last particle of one's being can't take too long, can it? "For some time. I'll have someone tend to you in my absence. This son prays you'll forgive him and his husband the slight of being unable to light the incense for you as they should be doing."

Yin Yu will hopefully find a few minutes every day to leave offerings in Xie Lian's stead. He's a good man, his friend, even if still somewhat uncertain of the nature of their friendship.

"This son also asks for guidance should his steps falter or his confidence waver. A difficult task is ahead of him and your support would mean the world to him if you decide to impart it to him." Would his parents approve of his decision? He isn't certain. They were proud of him when he ascended, but becoming a Devastation is a completely different matter. "I will pay you proper respects as soon as I'm back."

His mother would understand, he thinks. His decision is born out of duty and familial piety rather than selfish vying for power. Bai WuXiang taught him his limits and to face him again he needs to break and surpass them. His subjects' well-being is at stake, his home's existence, and his husband's safety.

Centuries ago, Xie Lian failed to protect his family and country from Jun Wu's whims. Fate has given him seconds now: a second family and a second country, a second chance to prove he's a man who can ensure the safety of both.

"Gege?"

Still kneeling, he turns towards the entrance. San Lang is standing there, dressed in crimson and wrath, and on his face is the promise of ruin. It's a face he so rarely shows to Xie Lian.

"Husband," Xie Lian says with a smile. It's fitting to call San Lang that in the place meant to honour their ancestors. "Can you come here for a moment?"

He takes San Lang's hand the moment he approaches. Its steadiness gives him courage.

"Gege looks like he wants to tell me something." San Lang makes an effort to keep his voice calm. For Xie Lian's sake, no doubt. The undercurrent of his tone is that of barked orders and threats after which only a painful demise follows. But he doesn't need to hide his ire: Xie Lian knows it isn't directed at him. "I'll gladly listen to whatever it is."

Xie Lian twines their fingers together. "Is there anyone on San Lang's side of the family who I might ask for a blessing?"

"None of that trash is worthy of gege's thoughts or attention."