Crimson and Clover

No Paths Are Bound - Part 3

"Are you happy?" Mei Nian Qing asks when Xie Lian escorts him to a guest room in the opposite wing of the manor. There are only so many concessions San Lang is willing to make and this is one of them. Not that Xie Lian minds too much. The last thing he wants is for his teacher to overhear them at night.

Getting accustomed to privacy proved to be so easy.

He focuses on that feeling rather than on the unease and worry that haven't left him since San Lang brought him home from Heaven. It's warm and comforting and his, and he doesn't hesitate to use it to shield himself from terror, as feeble a defence as that may be.

"En," he says softly. He looks down at his left hand – the red thread is vivid against his skin. "I'm very happy."

Guoshi harrumphs – not unlike Xie Lian's father did whenever he was unhappy with even the smallest thing. "I suppose at least there's that. But what in the three realms possessed you to consider a ghost king a spouse material? A ghost king! They're vicious! Once you've caught one's eye, he'll never let you go!"

"Good. It's not like I'm letting go of him."

Mei Nian Qing looks at him with thoughtful scrutiny. Xie Lian holds it steady and bears its weight with a head held high and a steady heart. He already did it in Heaven.

Once upon a time, when San Lang was still a nameless child and then an equally nameless ghost, he always proclaimed his devotion proudly and without hesitation. The least Xie Lian can do is grant him the same courtesy and never hide the depths of regards he holds him in.

"How can you be sure his words and actions are sincere?" Mei Nian Qing asks. "When the crisis comes, there's no telling how he'll—"

"Master, you mistakenly assumed I've only recently met him," Xie Lian interrupts. It feels like the same argument all over again – a fight of a man and someone whom he perceives to be a child. And while Xie Lian might have acted rashly in the past, thinking himself the wisest and rushing into a war without any knowledge what it entailed, he is no longer that child. He hasn't been in a long while, but Mei Nian Qing wasn't with him to witness the death of a child and the birth of a man brought to this world by blood and steel and a mistake from which there would have been no going back. "I've known San Lang almost my entire life, even when he was alive. We've been through a lot together. This is no dalliance or passing infatuation based on a lie. I know him, I trust him, and I'm happy with him. That's all I need."

"Your entire life? When would you even meet someone like him?" He waves his hand immediately after that, before Xie Lian can decide if honesty is the wise choice in this conversation. "But it doesn't matter, I suppose, does it? This old man doesn't have any sway over you anymore."

There's nothing Xie Lian can say to that, so he just smiles. They are many things, he and Mei Nian Qing, but close is not one of those.

"I shall rest now. I expect you wish to return to your.... your..."

"Husband, master. The word you're looking for is 'husband'."

"That, yes." Mei Nian Qing hesitates at the threshold of the room and looks at Xie Lian one more time. "You truly are nothing like him."

The smile falls from Xie Lian's face. "Goodnight, master," he says through gritted teeth. He doesn't wait to hear it returned to him.

Mei Nian Qing doesn't know how close Xie Lian got to becoming exactly like Jun Wu.

San Lang is already lying in bed when Xie Lian slows his pace and enters the bedroom as if he didn't just run away from nothing but words and a shadow of what could have been. He expects an inquiring look, or maybe even a fully-fledged question, but his husband's attention remains focused on the book he's reading. Xie Lian recognises it by the cover – it's one of the volumes San Lang started collecting when their relationship shifted from friendship to intimacy. He finds a new one every now and then, and always shows Xie Lian fragments he deems interesting.