She's my Dream Clementine x Reader

She really was a Dream

I opened my eyes, closing the book in my hand with a content sigh. It was nice to reread dreams I had. My mom told me to record my dreams in a journal so I can reread them whenever I want. Something about forgetting them after a while and being able to track mental health...? Whatever that is. It seems important, due to the words mental (brain) and health being right next to eachother. That's what my teacher would say, right? She would tell me to use context clues to figure out what it means. So the health of your brain? How would you track that? I'm not a doctor, and doctors understand the health of stuff. Doctors are weird, there are two types of doctors. There's the male doctors and the nurses. The nurses can't be doctor doctors because they're women—I think that is stupid.

I asked mom about it, and she said something about sixizm? Sexizm? I think it's spelled like that. She said that men were always given the more "important" roles in society while women were left with the "weaker" roles. Which is just dumb. Men and women are equally strong! They are also equally important! The nurses do short stuff. Like weighing me with my shoes off. I'm not sure why they weigh me, especially with my shoes off. I will have to ask mom. Then there's the doctor doctors. They do around the same amount of stuff as the nurses. They do some weird thing that they knock against my knee and it makes me kick. It's kinda uncomfortable, it feels weird. But I don't understand how the nurse women can't do it. Or why they aren't allowed to. Haven't they been around for hundreds of years? Wouldn't someone say "Hey, this is easy to understand! Women can do it to, probably." And test out the idea?

But then again, I'm 8. I'm not one of the adults yet, I'm not old enough to understand yet. Or at least that's what mom and dad say. I wonder what we will do in class tomorrow! I think tomorrow is finger painting math! It will be fun I think. I wonder what dad will pick out for me to wear. I hope he chooses the blue jacket. 

Sometimes I wonder how my brain made that dream. Why did it feel so real? She was so cool. I wish Clem was real. Maybe I could choose not to run away, and then we could live happily ever after? How did Clem hurt her leg? Why were there zombies? Better yet (thats something dad says whenever hes "proving a point" to my brother) why did we all call them "walkers"? 

I wish I could know. Sometimes I think back to when we had a dog. She was big, bigger than me! And she barked a lot. She tried to bite me once. The next day, when I woke up, she was gone! It was like nothing ever happened! All her toys were gone, and her bed. Everything that would have ever shown that she existed was gone. I wish she was nicer. Maybe she would still exist? I think that whenever something does something wrong and is gone, they don't exist anymore. They just go POOF and its gone! Thats why I don't do anything bad. I'm surprised dad hasn't gone POOF yet. He hit my brother. Brother misses mom. I think he hates dad. And yes, by hate I mean wishes dad would die or go poof. 

I know dad isn't the best of people, but I thought if there was a God, he saved whatever was the best for the end? But he took the best thing from our lives. Mom went poof. Then I had to wear black and watch her box be lowered into the dirt. I even put a handful of dirt onto her box! I hope she is doing well where she is. Wherever you go whenever you go POOF. Or whenever you die. Sometimes when I'm being too smart or thinking a bunch, I end up thinking like I did in the dream. Not like "I need to run away before my past catches up to me", no more like "whenever you die, you die again when someone says your name for the last time before you are forgotten by the rest of people." and it scares me sometimes. 

I don't want to be forgotten. But no one has the memories of going to the pool like I do. A lot of things go poof whenever someone dies. Everything you ever do won't end up stopping your death. But why live for no reason? Maybe so you fill up other peoples memories with things you'll never know of. 

Maybe, if I pretend, if I imagine hard enough, I could write to my dreams! I just need this piece of paper and this pen... here's what I'll write!

"Hello Clem! Don't forget about me aka (Y/N)! I still exist ya know. Maybe I don't for you. But I have seen you before. And you are cool! You were in my dream but we were much older. We were 18." 

I think that is good. I'm not sure what I should write to someone who doesn't exist. Now I just have to imagine like a younger Clem who is as old as me! Which is hard to do, because I don't know what she looks like at 8 or 9 years old. Would she still have her hat? Or did she just find it? Or did she find it before I was found by...Louis? The guy with stringy hair? Dred locks I think? That guy was funny. He had a weird bat though. But who am I to judge? I had some weird people after me. At least none of them did. 

Well I think it's time for dinner! I'm gonna go diary. Bye!

???? POV

Who is (Y/N)? 

Written: 9-7-21  and 14-8-21

Edited: 11-1-22

Not sure if ill do book two, I'm quite busy at the moment! Although, I will try! I hope you enjoyed! Thats the end of She's my Dream. Goodbye for now!