Before I Met You In Person: Phanfiction

Chapter: 1

**Dans POV**

The best part about waking up in the morning is checking my phone to see if Phil, my friend texted me or responded to me in any way. I wish I could meet him. I probably will some day but fuck my life I can't see him right now.

"Hey Dan^_^ So I'm really sorry but I'm really busy today and won't be able to talk. I'll get back as soon as possible. I really hope your day goes well and stay strong for me~Phil

This is really all im alive for. Nothing else is going right in my life. Phil is the only one that knows anything about my problems. He got me to a record clean of 6 weeks, talked me out of suicide twice and just makes me happy when I feel like shit.

Well today is Thursday and I have to go pointlessly work my ass off all day. This is my last year before university and now I really really really don't want to WILLINGLY go back and learn more shit I don't need to know. Like what the fuck? Who would willing do that? School is the main reason I'm in a living hell. I don't even understand why I'm doing this shit.

My day consists of school, assholes talking to me. I hate everyone really. Yeah people talk to me that are nice. Once you get to certain years of school you can't find a good friend. You know. Everyone already has a best friend. I'm always the last choice for everyone. I really only have Phil when you get straight to the middle of it.

Once I get home I see Phil hasn't said anything back still. Instead of procrastinating I'll actually do some stuff. He'd want me to. Tons of homework and shit later Phil responds back. Literally the only thing I get through the day for now. Sometimes I just think I'm going to bury myself alive in a hole, but then Phil just gives off this happiness even if I'm just reading stuff he texts me. It's strange.

"Dan! I'm so sorry I couldn't talk today, I hate when I'm busy. How are you? Are you okay? Are you fine?~Phil

"Hey Phil and I'm fine. I'm okay today was just usual. You don't need to worry~Dan

"I just really want you to be okay. I always worry a little bit about you~Phil

"Why? You really shouldn't care that much~Dan

"Are you serious Dan, oh my god I don't know what I'd do without you! I love you Dan and you mean a lot to me~Phil

"Awe thank you Phil. I'd be dead without you so I owe you so much more~Dan

It took me a while to just comprehend that Phil said he loves me. I know it can't be in that way but honestly I really like him. Fml. Stop Dan. He doesn't and never will like you back so just forget it. I never did.

"You being alive to meet me one day is all you owe. You are going to leave this world as the happiest person that lived a full life as long as I'm around~Phil

"I don't even understand how I can't find someone like you. You have something very unique and special Phil. I don't know even one person even close to what you have ever said to me~Dan

Phil and I talked back and forth until I fell asleep. He stays awake for me every night especially when I can't sleep. Honestly I wish he was right there with me. Just all the time by my side.

I always feel horrible because I keep Phil up at night. He stays up because of me. He loses precious hours of sleep because of my screwed up mind. I wish I could just fix my brain. Make my life and everyone's life around me easier. I feel sorry for myself. It's why I hate myself.

***Not sure if this chapter was too short or too long but oh well***