The Fawn and Her Fox

Dueling Violins

          My sister still isn't home and the rest of the Inner Circle has stayed pretty much well away, minding their own business and taking care of their own tasks, me and Lucien the only ones without tasks to complete.

        Nuala and Ceriddwen help me dress for the opera. Styling my hair into a neat braided bun, two curls framing either side of my face. My dress is short, flowing around my knees, the shade a pretty shade of emerald green, small sparkles catching the moon making it twinkle. 

        A happiness I haven't felt in a long time bubbles inside my chest. When I was a girl I used to lover going to the play house. Watching opera, plays, and symphonies it was my favorite thing to do. One of the happiest times outside of my garden as a child was going to the play house and witnessing a symphony.

        It was my first time and mama helped me dress in my finest. I felt like a princess, especially when papa had paid for box seats. The beautiful instruments ringing throughout the room, haunting every nook and cranny in the room, demanding to be heard, caressing the ears of those willing enough to listen, bringing tears to my eyes and making my heart ache with the unrequited love of the song. 

        After that the symphonies became my favorite thing. Every birthday, before my fathers downfall, my parents would take me to the opera and each year it rocked my world. Devastation filled me the first time we missed an symphony and every year after that I had to rely on my garden, my only source of light and happiness. 

        Now here I am, in Prythian, standing in a dress that would be considered scandalous by human standards going with a man who is my mate to an symphony with fae. A giggle of disbelief bubbles up and I take a deep breath and step out of my room... knocking right into Lucien. 

        My cheeks flame as I bounce back, tripping and he grabs my shoulders, helping me find steady footing. His hands are warm on my bare shoulders, the calluses on his hands scraping against my skin. The flush spreads over my chest and neck when I am able to take in his attire. Black tunic lined with... emerald green, the same shade as my dress. 

        "I'm sorry, I was going downstairs to wait for you." His breath slightly catches as he takes me in as well. 

        Abruptly, he lets me go and I have to take several breaths before I can even think again. His long hair looks smooth and silky. "You look beautiful, Elain." His voice is a quite rumble and my skin pebbles at the smooth cadence of his words. 

        My flush deepens and I twist my fingers into the soft material of my dress. "Thank you," I say, deciding not to voice the fact he looks immaculately handsome. I've embarrassed myself enough in the past five minutes without admitting his appearance has taken me aback.

        "Are you ready to go?" He asks.

        His words snap me out of my thoughts and I nod. 

        We leave the house, the sun setting in the distance. The trek to the play house is quiet and uneventful. Lucien and I stay quite, choosing a comfortable silence over awkward small talk. How do you speak to someone you're supposed to be with but you just can't accept it yet? I don't know how to be around him. He's never pressured me or pushed any boundaries, but he's just here, being a mate but not. 

        My head spins with feelings and expectations and worries. Once we get to the play house we are seated swiftly by a woman with green tinged skin and spiky ears, to my surprise we are guided to high seats, one level lower than the box and it's wonderful. 

        People are being seated, chattering quietly, a low hum filling the room. Lucien shifts in his seat, his large frame looking funny in such a small chair. His hair lays like silk along his chest and his muscular bicep brushes against me, our knees bumping. My heart slams against my ribcage and I study the side of his lovely face. 

        Slowly, his face turns towards mine and a smile creeps shyly onto his full lips. "How long has it been since you've been to a symphony?" He asks, attention solely focused on me. 

        I sweep the baby hairs from my forehead and shift in my seat, unable to stay still under his powerful gaze. "A very long time. I was only a girl. It was the birthday before my family lost their fortune when my mother passed." I shake my head, twisting my hands together. "A lot of things changed after that..." Guilt naws at my stomach at the knowledge that I let Feyre go out and feed us time and time again. I let that Spring Lord tamper with my mind, making me believe Feyre was okay. I wasn't strong for my family then and I am definitely not strong now. 

        "Elain?"

        Lucien's voice stops the tirade of spiraling thoughts consuming my mind. The lines around his eyes are creased with gentle worry. "Yes?" I ask, choosing to ignore my obvious silence.

        He smiles almost tentatively. "Where did you go?"

        I know he doesn't mean anything but mentally. My cheeks flame and the heat spreads down my neck and chest. "I was thinking of all my mistakes since my family's downfall. Feyre saved us... on more than one occassion and Nesta is strong in her own right and I am just... here."

        Lucien shakes his head. "On the contrary, Elain. You cannot compare yourself to your sisters. You are very strong in my book and I have lived quite a while."

        I peer at him beneath lowered lashes, butterflies tickling the inside of my chest. "How so?" I ask, skeptically. 

        "Well," he starts loftily, bringing a smile from my lips. "You live with what happened to you everyday. And i don't just mean about being tossed into Prythian. I mean living the way you did as a human. Not everyone is willing to accept the wrongs they have committed in the past, but you know you've done wrong. It's hard to self reflect and it makes you strong that you are able to look at yourself in a harsh light."

        His words strike a chord within me. "You speak from experience?"

        He gives me a shy lopsided smile. "You don't live for hundreds of years without making mistakes, Elain. I have made some that have cost me dearly. Even when I thought I was doing the right thing." He shakes his head. "Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone regrets. It's how we move on and better ourselves that really matters."

        His words lift an unknown weight from my chest and I brush my knee against his as the lighting darkens in the theater. "Thank you."

        With one last soft smile, he turns his attention towards the stage and I follow suit. Fae of all kinds sit on stage holding violins, cellos, flutes, one sits at a piano. 

        First is starts off with a lone violin, the player moving with the music in a sea of other violins, then a higher one chimes in, mimicking the first, complementing each other beautifully. The notes flirt and skimper around each other, others join in but never overpowering the two original violins. They dance and soar higher, higher, higher, falling in love until they are torn apart. The battle plays out before my eyes, warring families, two unlikely people to fall fighting against Heaven and Earth to get to the one they love. The crescendo climbs higher and higher and higher, my heart beating rapidly, chills coating my skin down to my very bones.

        My butt at the edge of the seat almost too anticipated to stay seated. Finally, it all falls away except the two violins who move together, bringing to the last of the story, striking the final long note and silence. 

        My breathing comes out in silent pants and my body relaxes with the silence. When I look over at Lucien as everyone stands, I find him look straight at me. He had to have been watching me for a while for his lips are parted in awe and just like the last last note something between us slides together and then silence.