DON'T TELL // MINSUNG

5

If you water a withered flower, it won't bloom again

The ring finger you promised not to lose

With your parting, everything disappeared and collapsed

- Han Jisung, Wish You Back

Fortunately the weekend, they were able to sleep in. The sun shone brightly, its rays falling on the entangled boys' figures. 

Minho woke up first, blinking the bleariness out of his eyes. It took him a moment to get situated in the unfamiliar house, especially as they had ended up sprawled on the floor, tangled up with the blanket and each other.

Minho tried to extricate his legs from the other without waking him. Jisung began to stir, and Minho gently patted his head, whispering "Shhh. . ." to ease the other back to sleep.

Jisung was roused enough to get up, but the older still slid his arm around him.

Jisung was beginning to suspect that Minho was just touch starved and wanted cuddles in general, before he whispered, "Jisungie."

Jisung's heart was beating too fast. Minho had never addressed him in such an informal way, but he wasn't opposed to it. He was only trying to keep an emotional wall against the other, to protect his hopes from becoming too grand and getting crushed.

Like they had been already.

Jisung laid back down again, feeling strangely content with the warmth of the sun on his face and his old friend wrapped around him.

"Did you know that when people spend the night they trust the other person more?"

Jisung's expression remained blank. "Is that why you're being nice to me?"

Minho just stared back, pain clenching his heart. He looked down at the floor. "I was hoping it would mean you'd talk to me again."

Jisung didn't say anything.

"Could you please tell me what happened?" Minho begged, and Jisung felt a pang. He knew he owed his ex-best friend an explanation. Minho hadn't meant to hurt his feelings by dating other people. Jisung really knew he was in the wrong. He had just been overwhelmed with pain.

"Minho. I'm really really sorry that I hurt you. I know I shouldn't have yelled at you. I know you didn't do anything wrong. It's just -" Jisung's voice broke and he felt a painful lump in his throat.

Minho looked alarmed, and he put a hand on Jisung's shoulder.

The younger looked down as he cried. "I love you so much and I was just so jealous seeing you with everyone else but me."

"Jisung . . ." Minho's eyes watered at the sight of his friend in pain. The younger didn't protest when he wrapped his arms around him, holding the sobbing boy against his chest. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What, just to have my feelings played with and then thrown in my face?"

"Jisung I'm so sorry. I understand if. you don't want to, but could we please try?"

"Try what?"

"To be friends again?"

Jisung didn't answer.

"I really miss you, Jisungie."

Memories came rushing back

Jisung swallowed the lump in his throat

He didn't hold back the tears

"Then why did you leave?"

"I - I don't know.

"I'd never felt so much love towards someone before. So I tried to distance myself from you and pretend that I didn't like you by dating other people. And I liked them and I loved them . . . but it was never in the same way that I love you."

I love you.

He said it. In the present tense. Lee Minho, was confessing his current love for Jisung.
Jisung looked up at him, confusion written all over his face. After dealing with the feeling of rejection for the past few weeks, he didn't want to get his hopes up and have them dashed again.

The older spoke quietly. "I was such a fool. Such a scared fool. I couldn't let myself feel too much. I don't know. It was just so scary and overwhelming. I'd get so giddy and my thoughts would constantly be on you . . ."

"I never wanted you to be in pain, Jisung, I'm sorry. I wish you'd told me sooner." He wiped his eyes, hating the heaviness of regret. "I should've told you I loved you"

"I know you do."

"But I don't think you ever felt it."

Jisung thought about

How best friends can become strangers so easily. "I don't even care if you ever like me in the same way I like you. I just -" He wiped his eyes. "I'm so scared at how easily I lost you. You really do mean everything to me"