Cleaning Up The Mess We Made (Love Victor Fanfiction)

Chapter One

Victor took a breath as the door opened. "Hi."

Benji looked at Victor with cold eyes. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk. Can I come in?" Victor asked.

Benji looked down, "Sure." He opened to door wider to let Victor in.

Victor followed Benji to his room, and he closed the door behind him. Victor was slightly nervous, debating about where he should start.

"So, what did you want to say?" Benji asked.

Victor sighed. "I'm sorry for everything that happened the past week. I shouldn't have told Rahim about your drinking. I was just really stressed because Mia just told us all she might be moving to California, and we just got into that fight. Then, you weren't at school, and everything piled up on me, so I needed to talk to someone. That someone happened to be Rahim and I'm sorry."

"Okay, well I have stuff piling up on me too." Benji replied.

"I never said you didn't, I'm just trying to explain myself."

"Well, let me explain myself. I'm sorry I yelled at your mom," Benji said. "She talked to me today and explained everything. I realize now her growth, but it's a couple of days too late. It's not like you were the best at explaining everything. You just told me about your mom accepting Rahim immediately when she couldn't accept me for six months. And then you tell me about how it's okay because she has an aunt who is gay, but never talks about. Then, Adrian is supposed to be okay with us because he called me your french toast. What does that mean?"

Victor nodded. His first thought was he didn't realize his mom went to go talk to Benji. He appreciated her trying to fix his relationship. Second, Victor saw where Benji was coming from. "Okay, I realize my mistakes. I'm sorry for not being better at communicating. By the way, I just explained that I dated Mia because I didn't know if I liked girls, and my dad said it was like when Adrian thought blueberry pancakes were his favorite breakfast before he tried french toast and realized he liked it better. That's what I meant by that."

"That makes more sense," Benji replied. "Also, I'm sorry for snaping at you at Brasstown. It's just you said my parents were super supportive, when you know it took them a long time to accept me. Even now, they always push their bondaries with me."

"I'm sorry about that," Victor said. "I was upset, and I was trying to explain to you how my family works, because you don't know."

"Oh," Benji looks down. "You're still on that whole, I'm white thing. I still don't understand that. I still have to go through so much shit with my family because I'm gay."

Victor sighed, "I don't have time to explain it all right now, but it's different when you're a person of color. That's how I connected with Rahim so fast."

"Wow, so you didn't just talk to Rahim about my drinking," Benji replied coldly. "You know what, I don't care anymore. Can you just tell me what is going on between you and Rahim. I saw how you two were dancing together, and it wasn't platonic." 

Victor glanced away, "I don't know what is going on between us. I invited him to the wedding because you bailed last second, and I didn't want to show up alone. Then after you left, Rahim kissed me...and I let him," Victor added that last part, wanting to be one-hundred percent honest.

Benji looked taken abact. He was quiet for a bit before saying, "Okay...so you like Rahim. Wait, what was your end goal of coming here? Us to start dating again?"

Victor paused, unsure of how to answer that. What was his end goal? "I wanted to explain myself," Victor replied truthfully. "And, I do want to get back together with you." 

"Okay, but we can't do that if you have feeling for someone else!" 

"I don't want to be with Rahim! I want to be with you!" 

"But, you still let him kiss you!" Benji exclaimed. "You still haven't denyed the fact that you like him." 

Victor looked down. He didn't know what to say. Maybe he did like Rahim, but he didn't want to throw away his relationship with Benji because of him. He wasn't even sure if a relationship with Rahim would last. He knew he wanted Benji in his life. 

Benji sighed, "Look, I know you came over to apologize and win me back, but I don't think that can happen. I have my own issues I have to worry about, and adding all of your issues is just too much. Also, I'm just not sure if I can forgive you yet. Your betrayal hurts too much, and you clearly like Rahim." 

"Benji, please," Victor pleads.

"Can you please just leave," Benji says quietly, looking down. "You can go be with Rahim for all I care, but can you leave."

Victor nodded, holding in his tears. He couldn't believe this was happening. He slowly walked to the door. "Bye Benji," he whispered as he left the room.

Victor walked out of Benji house, and started to make his way back to his apartment. He walked slowly down the street. It wasn't like he was in a hurry to get home. Victor couldn't believe how fast everything blew up in his face. Now he had no idea what he was going to do.

When Victor did get home, it was almost midnight. All the lights in his apartment were off. It seemed like everyone was in their own separete rooms and had fallen asleep already. Victor quietly walked to his room, trying to to wake anyone up. Once he was safely in his room, all the tears Victor had been holding in came pouring out.