Cleaning Up The Mess We Made (Love Victor Fanfiction)

Chapter Ten

Hey, I've been distant recently. 

I'm sorry. 

We should hang out soon. 

Rahim...

Rahim opened his phone to find four new messages from Pilar. He had been avoiding Pilar for the past couple of days. He felt bad about it, but he wasn't ready to face Victor again. Honestly, he didn't know if Victor even wanted to see him. He figured if Victor was ready to talk to him, he'd reach out. Right now, Rahim wanted to give Victor space. 

Rahim texted Pilar: 

Sorry, I've also been distant. I can't talk now.

Rahim felt guilty as he pressed sent. He didn't want to put Pilar in an awkward situation between him and Victor. It was easier this way, he told himself. 

Suddenly, Rahim got a call. It was from someone he didn't know, but had the same area code. Rahim figured if it was a scammer, he'd get a laugh out of it. 

"Hello," Rahim said as he answered the call. 

"Hi, it's Benji," the person on the phone said. 

"Oh, hi Benji," Rahim said, surprised. He was glad it was not a scammer. 

"Hey, Rahim," Benji said, and paused. "You said I could call you if I wanted to talk. If you're free, do you want to hang out today?" 

"Yeah, I'm free," Rahim replied. "In fact, I know a really good place where we can meet. I'll text you the address, and we can meet up in like an hour." 

"Yeah, great. Sounds good," Benji said. 

"Great see you soon. Bye," Rahim said before hanging up. 

Rahim looked up the address of the restaurant and sent it to Benji. Benji replied quickly with a thumbs up. An hour later, Rahim met Benji at an Indian restaurant. 

Rahim waved at Benji as he walked up, "Hey, glad you found the place." 

"Yeah," Benji nodded. "I used to go here all the time." 

"Great, so let's order." 

They ordered food and found a place to sit down. 

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Rahim asked. "You seemed a bit freaked out on the phone." 

"Um, yeah," Benji looked down. "I don't really know what my end goal was. I just didn't want to be alone in my house again." 

"That's fine, we can just hang out. I think this counts as bonding," Rahim replied. 

Benji laughed, "Yeah, it does." Benji paused for a second and look at Rahim weirdly. "I actually do have a question...It's about something Victor said..." 

"Um, yeah. What is it?" Rahim asked, feeling a bit scared of what he was gonig to ask. 

"It's just, he mentioned I didn't understand his life because I was white. I just want to know what that's about. I mean obviously there's racism, but that doesn't have anything to do with being gay, right?" 

Rahim took a deep breath in, "Wow, that is a loaded question." Rahim felt conflicted. He wasn't exactly sure what to say. 

"I know Victor already talked to you about-um-that," Benji added. 

"Yeah he did that to me about you a bit," Rahim nodded. "So look, just because I'm not white, doesn't mean I can be your wikapedia on everything regaurding racism. It shouldn't only be on me to educate you. However, just this once, I'll talk to you about it because you seem like you genuinly want to understand this. Short disclaimer, I can't tell you everything that Victor is going through because I'm not latino or catholic, and every person has different opinions, but I can tell you the general idea." 

"Yeah, I understand," Benji replied. 

"Great," Rahim said. "So, generally, with people of color, religion and family are big things. Like, you respect everyone in your family because you know how much they had to work to get where they are now. Like, my parents immigrated from Iran and had to work hard to be respected, and earn money so I can have the life I have now. They sacrificed a lot for me, and I'm thankful for that. Until a couple weeks ago, I thought they were homophobic, but I was prepare to help them work through it. I know, maybe in your eyes, you acomatically hate everyone who's homophobic no matter what, and I get that. If I were out for over a year, I'd probably feel the same way. "Except, it's a bit different when it's with your family. I know some people have outdated beliefs, and that's really no excuse, but I can kind of understand where they're coming from. Homophobia has been deeply rooted into them, that they can't help but think it. My parents found out that I was gay when I was twelve, because of an unfortunate search history on my part. They had four year to learn, and grow, and understand what being gay was so they could support me. In Victor's case, Isabel had been thought about homophobia since she was a child. Sure, she was pretty horrible to you two, but she ended up working on herself and accepting you and Victor. I'm not saying that makes up for everything she's done, but just know her beliefs were given to her from her parents. So, I feel like I kinda got sidetracked and I'm not sure how much of this is going to make sense when I'm done. The bottom line is relgion plays a big part in the lives of people of color. They have beliefs that can be outdated, and it is hard for kids to stand up to their parents, because we were taught to be respectful. That's what I can say about this. If you ever get on speaking terms with Victor again, he can probably tell you his side a lot better than me." 

Benji slowly nodded. He opened his mouth to say something but then the waiter came with their food.

"Thank you," Benji  and Rahim both said to the waiter. 

"Yeah, that did make sense." Benji finally said. "I understand now. Thank you Rahim." 

"Yeah no problem," Rahim smiled. "Maybe next time try googling first. Try looking up 'white privillege,' you'll get a lot of results." 

"Yeah, I'll check that out," Benji replied. 

"So let's talk about a lighter topic to easen the mood a bit," Rahim said. 

"Agreed," Benji said. "By the way, I know you just came out, but if you ever have any questions about being gay or whatever, I'd be happy to help." 

Rahim smiled, "Thanks. Right now I'm good, but if I ever get a boyfriend, that might change." 

"Cool, I will help you with everything about having a boyfriend...Except probably sex. That's something everyone kind of has to figure out on their own. But, you could probably look up tips if you want. Don't trust porn, it's unrealistic. I mean smut fanfiction will help you more than porn." 

Rahim laughed, "Noted." 

They eat in silence for a few minues before Rahim says, "So, you know at school people might pit us against each other." 

Benji looked up from his food, "What, why?" 

"So, we were both in this sort of love triangle with Victor in the middle. So, naturally people are going to pick sides." 

"Why, we're like completely different people. It's not fair." 

"Yeah, but you now how gossip in high school works. Our highschool also happens to have a tumblr that shares gossip. Honestly, I'm surprised people haven't picked our ship names yet." 

Benji scoffed, "What would my ship name with Victor be? Venji? Bictor?" 

"Venji sounds better," Rahim concluded. "Mine would be Vajim." 

"Interesting," Benji said. "Well, I guess I've always kind of liked love triangles. Maybe it's the romantic in me. Something about having two people like you at the same time." 

Rahim laughed, "Yeah, that's the dream." He paused. He wanted to ask something personal. "So, speaking of which where are you Victor-wise. Do you still like him? I mean you were jealous of me until like last night." 

"Um," Benji started. He looks down at his food. "I'm not sure. I mean I loved him. It's kind of hard to get over your first love." 

"Yeah, I understand," Rahim said. 

"Eventually, I'll  be over him. I think I need some time by myself. Without a boyfriend." 

"Yeah, that'd be good," Rahim said. "You know, I'm glad we're kinda becoming friends." 

Benji smiled, "Yeah. Me too."