Once Upon a Time~ (A Kinda Lesbian Story)

Chapter Two

Michelle leaving felt like the hardest thing I had ever been through. I had grown to become friends with her sister, Renee, too. It wasn’t just my relationship that was being torn apart; it was more than one friendship.

I wasn’t allowed to see Michelle off, Mother told me it would only make things worse. But I still believe that making me stay in my room hugging the teddy bear Michelle had given me was about the worst thing she could have done, which is probably why she did it.

Michelle leaving really messed up my 1st grade head. I lost basically my only best friend, my girlfriend, and my only comfort in school. Going to school now made me feel naked. But Michelle had left during Christmas break so it gave me time to figure out what I was going to do. And so I did, my number one goal: Get a boyfriend.

Now that I think about it, Michelle and I had several admirers during our relationship, not that we ever noticed. But coming back to school to get a boyfriend was about as simple as well… very simple. Within three days of being back to school I was already holding hands with a boy, his name was Brandon.

First grade Brandon was a very cute little boy. A lot of the girls in my class really wanted to be the person holding his hand. His hair was a milk chocolate color; he has the sweetest dimples, and the softest caramel eyes. I suppose I should have been grateful, I had a cute boy by my side and Mother would be off my back. But it just didn’t feel right with him, when I had been with Michelle things seemed perfect, right. With Brandon everything seemed like a lie. I didn’t even like him very much.

You might say, oh you were only in first grade. How could you feel all of that, it’s not like it meant anything. But that’s where you are wrong. Think back to first grade and look at your little relationships, I bet they look cute and harmless right? But then try to think back to when it was, think like you are that first grader. Remember the feelings that went with it? Did you ever cry when you and your “partner” “broke up” probably, at least once? But I bet your mother or father just told you it was nothing. Don’t worry about it.

It feels worse when your Mother breaks you up. Says that was something, and never to do it again. Your whole perspective on relationships goes crazy.

Anyway, I remember one day in the cafeteria before school started Brandon tried to talk to me. I told him to shush because the school had gotten in trouble for talking too loudly and everyone was supposed to be silent. However, Brandon persisted. Eventually I turned around to look at him, I was worried I would get in trouble so, aggravated, I asked him what he needed. He held out a little black box, I took it from him and opened it, turned back around.

Inside the box was a ring.

“It’s a promise ring” Brandon spoke softly over my shoulder, “It means that as long as you keep this ring we are together.”

The ring was simple yet beautiful. It had two silver roses on the top and that was it, just a simple silver band. But just the thought made me happy. He actually cared about me, I turned around and gave him a hug.

That afternoon during recess Brandon and I, holding hands, went to the tire together. The tire was a legend at my school. It was a tractor tire that had been halfway buried in the sand and dirt. Inside the tire was carved memories from many people’s experiences in the tire.

We crawled in the groves and looked at each other. Other children playing nearby could only see our feet through the hole, but it wasn’t as if they would care anyway. Brandon smiled at me, I could not help but feel a rush from his smile. He really did care about me, and even in my first grade brain, after Michelle it was all I could hope for. And just like that he leaned in and puckered his lips a little, a little thought came to mind that this was his first real kiss, but then again, according to my mom it was MY first real kiss too. So I leaned in also and our lips met.

When no special feeling came, even after we broke apart I kissed him again. I did not understand it. How could kisses from two different people be so completely different? Kissing Brandon was like kissing my mom (a sad way to put it). When I kissed my mom it was just, well a kiss, nothing else. But when I kissed Michelle, it was more than that, it wasn’t like I was turned on (can 5 year olds be turned on?) but it was just special. It felt RIGHT. When her lips were on mine I felt as though we would never have to be apart, through thick and thin.

Despite my disappointment, when I saw Brandon was happy I smiled. We exited the tire and went to play on the swings.

Our relationship did not last long after that. To be perfectly honest, it was my infidelity that ruined the relationship. Then again, it was Brandon’s snoopiness. One day when I went to the bathroom and left my backpack with Brandon, he opened it up and found my notebook-journal thing that specifically said “NO ONE MUSAT READ!” and opened it to find pictures of hearts that did not say Brandon in the middle, instead they simply said “A+M”.

Returning from the bathroom I was called the first grade equivalent word for slut, had my open backpack shoved in my arms and was forced to walk alone to the bus.

After Brandon I was alone for a while, I was a depressed teacher’s pet, and after I had surgery and got better at speaking I became a depressed, smarty-pants, teacher’s pet. I suppose that sucked for a while, but if that had not of happened, I guess I would not have met Joshua.

Joshua came to our school a couple weeks after Brandon and I broke up, mid-February I believe. We connected instantly because of one thing: we were both teacher’s pets. In high school, I learned that if you have a class with two teacher’s pets the two people hate each other, simply because they want to be THE teacher’s pet. But back in the day, I did not care and neither did Joshua. So we became best friends.

We learned that we had two more things in common. The first was our birthday. Same day, same hour. It was a cool thing to have in common. But the other thing we learned on the slide fort one day. Yes my playground had a slide fort, the bottom half had a little room with a bench and windows, and the top was open and had two slide to get to the ground. One day Joshua and I were just standing at the top of the fort when some upperclassmen came over to the fort and started throwing rocks yelling, “ALY AND JOSHUA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” A teacher came over and they got in trouble but it was soon after Joshua spoke. “We are just friends, you know that right?” I nodded, unsure what he was saying.

“Why do you say that?” I asked, curious.

“Because I…” Joshua looked at the ground. “Its embarrassing.”

“Come on Joshua! What is it?” I insisted.

Joshua leaned next to my ear and whispered, “Because I think I like boys.”

“Really?” I asked, slightly shocked.

Joshua nodded, and proceeded in telling me that’s why he left his previous school. He said that one day he had gone up to his teacher and asked why he could never get married, a concept he must have heard from someone or researched, when the teacher inquired why he asked, he simply said, “Because I like boys.” Unfortunately, the school was connected with the high school at which time a Junior or Senior over heard the conversation. The next day, Joshua was called horrible names and was even beat up so bad that he had to go the Emergency Room at the hospital. That’s why he had to move.

It was shocking, hearing that story. I proceeded in telling him mine. Once I was done, I told him I was sorry, and that I was glad that nothing that bad ever happened to me. But he immediately told me that it was worst to lose someone you love and care so deeply about then to be called a few names.

Now, I know that most of the gay population says that they realized they were gay around 6th or 7th grade. But I’m certain that there is a small percentage like me, realized it way before then.

Joshua and I stayed good friends for the rest of first grade, but sometime during the summer he moved away. To this very day I hope he found some way to be accepted, and maybe even find the love of his dreams.

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Hey Guys! Sorry for not writing, on any of my works for so long... I'll do better I promise!!!