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Will at work told me to write a poem based off my new couch pillow. (this ain't my couch, this is just the stock photo lol but that's my pillow. his name is Walter.)
What would you do with a walrus on your couch?
With that pipe in his mouth, he sure looked like a grouch
But would you believe it if I told you the truth?
He's living on your couch cuz he's nothing but a mooch
You came home one day to find him sitting there
He had a hat on his head and he gave you a glare
He wore a brown coat with a bright purple vest
The flower pinned to his chest added some much-needed zest
"Hullo?" you asked, a question curved your voice.
"Have a seat," he said. You didn't have much of a choice.
You sat next to him and the couch gave a groan
With all of that weight, I'm surprised it didn't moan
"The name's Walter," he said. "How do you do?"
"Just fine, thanks," you squeaked. (You didn't want to be rude.)
He pulled on his pipe, taking such a long toke
Several minutes passed by and yet nobody spoke
"Soooo...," you began, unsure of what to say
He said, "I live here now. I'm sure that'll make your day."
Your mind was flooded with a million questions plus one
Living with a walrus didn't sound like much fun
You had to say something, it was driving you mad
But with big tusks like his, you couldn't say anything bad
So you opened your mouth and you gave it a shot
But all of a sudden you weren't feeling too hot
You sprung off the couch and you dashed toward the loo
When you opened the door, you found something new
There was your tub filled with hundreds of fish
They splashed and they sploshed and also they swished
You thought you'd be sick before, but this smell made it worse
With the way that you felt, someone best call a hearse
You thought you might die from the shock of it all
From down on the floor you picked up your jaw
"This can't be my life!" you cried. "I must be asleep."
From outside your house, you heard a loud beep
"Oh, what now?" you said, pulling on your hair
The way your day was going just wasn't fair
"Careful with my things!" you heard. "Those are antiques!"
A clatter and a bang, then you heard the walrus shriek
Abandoning the bathroom, you headed back to him
The front door had been opened and boxes were carried in
"You can't do this to me! It's just too much stuff!"
The walrus looked you down and he only said, "Tough."
"This is my home! Who let you in?"
"You did, my lad." And he thanked you with a grin
Fast forward one hour, you had all but given up
Your house was now full with all of his stuff
"Do you NEED so many books?" you asked him with a growl
"Now you shut your face," he steamed, "you uneducated fowl!"
"I guess this is it," you said to yourself
As he placed his last book on the top of your shelf
"Would you like a cup of tea?" you decided to ask
"No, that's quite alright," he said. "I've got wine in my flask."
So he was a drunk and a bum and living with you now
