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DON'T SILENCE ME - Logan angst

Ok, ok, listen. I have a headcanon. What if Logan has this weird reaction that makes him panic when he's not able to talk?

—//—

It was just another day, everyone discussing what Thomas should do, a discussion that turned into an argument that turned into a fight. Roman was throwing insults at Virgil and sometimes even at Logan, who was just stood there watching the fight, unable to interfere because of Deceit, who decided to show up and use his power to shut him up. Patton was trying to make them calm down while Janus just made sarcastic comments to make Virgil even more mad. Remus had shown up too, just hanging out behind the tv shouting nonsense, making Roman get more frustrated and Patton confused. It was a mess of words, words Logan couldn't speak. He felt useless, how could he show his logic without sharing his facts and knowledge, without helping his friends by using rationality. He felt out of place, everyone was shouting, arguing, talking, but he was just there, silenced, unnoticed. He wished he could help them, he wanted to logic his way out of this problem. The answer was so simple, he could see it, but the others won't hear him, they can't hear him, not that they would hear him even if he was able to talk but it was better than just not talking at all. It made him anxious, and Virgil could feel the anxiety coming from him, but he didn't notice. Virgil was too busy with his own anxious thoughts to notice that Logan was panicking. His breathing was getting faster, he was facing down with his eyes shut, his left hand trying to take his right hand out of his mouth so that he could at least say a goodbye before leave the living room. But Deceit was too busy to even remember letting the logical side talk or even leave. Logan tried his best to keep his emotions bottled up, he was trying to not have a mental breakdown in the middle of the living room but he couldn't help it as the tears started rolling down his cheeks. No one had noticed. That is until Remus decides to say something.

"HEY! LOOK! THE DORK IS CRYING!" Remus shouts, starting to laugh afterwards. Everyone stops and looks in Logan's direction, shocked, no one had ever seen logic cry before. That was the moment it had hit Virgil, Logan was having a panic attack. The look Virgil gave Janus was enough for him to understand and let the dark blue side speak again.

"Sorry about that" Janus softly apologizes. The room was then filled with silence.

"Logan?" Patton was the first to speak up, besides Roman, that was trying to make his twin stop laughing

"P-patton-" The logical side finally spoke, quickly wiping his tears and adjusting his glasses. When he was breathing evenly again, he started speaking "M-my apologies, I'll make sure that this doesn't happen again and leave you to finish your disagreement" he said while he straightened (gayened) his tie, preparing to sink out, when Virgil grabs his arm.

"Logan... What's wrong?" He asked softly

"I'm adequate" Logan says in a monotone voice, trying to make Virgil stop touching him. Virgil immediately understood and let his arm go

"Lies" Janus interrupts, making everyone look at him and back at Logan

"Kiddo... Please tell us what happened" Patton tries to approach him, but he steps back

"I- I—" Logan struggles to say anything, something he never had problems with. It just made everything worse. "I'm useless—" Logan quickly puts a hand over his mouth. He looked at Janus, who was looking shocked at the confession made by the other side. Logan then looks at Patton, he looked terrified, like he saw a dead body. Maybe he did saw a dead body. He looked away, in Virgil's direction. He was on verge of tears, feeling guilty for what Logan just said. Logan started feeling guilty too, he isn't being helpful, just making everything worse made him feel bad. Lastly, he looked at the twins, Remus' grin had faded and Roman was as shocked as Deceit. Logan then felt something on cheek, he touched it just to realize he started crying again. After an awkward pause, full of silence and pity, Janus was the first to talk.

"Logan, dear, you're not useless" The deceitful side said, with the most sincere smile he could make

Patton was the next one to say something "Yeah, kiddo, we love you! We can't live without you! Literally, Thomas would die without Logic" He chuckles "Don't ever think that again!"

"Yeah! I'm the only one that is allowed to have intrusive thoughts here!" Remus shouted from his spot

"You always help us when we need, even if we don't hear you" Virgil says, trying to stay positive

"Yeah........ You are... Important for Thomas.... EvenIfYouAreABoringCalculatorAllTheTime" Roman confesses, earning a disappointed glare from Janus and a confused look from Patton.

Logan glares at them, clearing his throat, he finally speaks again "I appreciate your words, but I'm fine, really" Deceit looks at him, making a movement with his hand. No one understood why the sudden movement until Logan spoke again "I'm not important—" Deceit was making him tell the truth "I mean— You never listen-" He stops talking and looks at the ground again.

"Continue, Logan. We're listening" Deceit- no, Janus. Janus spoke up.

Logan looked at him, then looking at the others. "Don't silence me." He says, then pauses, it was hard for him to admit that he has flaws, that he has feelings. "I— I don't like... I don't like being silenced... I despise it, I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!!!" He ends up shouting, he never talks about his feelings so it felt good to open up. "I don't like being silenced and I hate it when you ignore me!"

"Is that how you really feel about us?" Patton asks, his hands were fidgeting with his cardigan's sleeves. Logan nods, while looking down. Not only was he crying but he also felt ashamed, as if everyone was judging him for feeling like that. "Oh, kiddo! Don't feel like that! We love you! We would never ignore you!" Patton smiled, while walking towards the logical side to wipe his tears.

"I know that we argue a lot and it may seem like we don't care about your opinion but we do care, Logan. We are all the sides of Thomas!" Roman pridefully says, raising his fist to the air

"I... Thank you..." He's finally able to spit those words out. Patton then hugs him, Roman joining immediately after, Remus quickly jumps ungraciously from behind the tv to the ground hug, bringing Janus with him. Patton then convinces Virgil to join the hug.

After that, they all decided to hear Logan's answer to their problem. It might have not been the answer they were looking for, but it helped get closer to the actual answer, and it was enough for him to feel better.