Manifestation

10: Phase Three: The Mental Crash

My entire body ached. My head hurt, my stomach churned, my arms and legs tingled, my eyes burned. It would be better if I just died.

I don't want to do through all of the stages just to find they don't have a cure. If they understand, they will put me out of my misery. Death seemed so close already. It had been a week since I contracted the virus. I have gone through so much excruciating pain and I just want it to be over.

I got an idea.

I look over at the flower pot next to my bed. I reached my limp arms over and pull it down on my bed. I don't want to smash the glass, because that would cause too much noise. I took the flowers out and tapped the vase on the metal part of the bed frame. I hit it a bit harder and a big enough shard falls into my hand. I put the broken vase back onto the side table and hold the shard over my left forearm. Luckily, it won't be a painful death because I can't feel my arm anyway.

I take a deep breath. I was going to do it. I had to. I put the shard down and picked up the pad and pen the scientists gave me. I wrote a lengthy suicide note explaining my dilemma. I put the pad down and a tear dripped down my cheek. Goodbye world. Goodbye Ryan.

I picked up the shard again and pressed it against my arm. Burgundy blood seeped through the cut. Usually at this point, I know people have remorse about killing themselves, but I didn't. I was in control. I could control my fate. It felt good.

But nurses immediately rushed in. I forgot about the camera.

They took the shard from me and I started sobbing. They immediately sewed my arm and put a bandage over it.

"What were you thinking?" One asked.

I motioned to the note. "Let me die! I don't want to be here!"

Ryan immediately rushed in.

His eyes looked at the bloody shard, then at my bandaged arm.

"What did you do?" He said quietly.

"Tell them to kill me. Just kill me! Shoot me in the head! Please! I want, I need to die!"

"No, Arizona, you don't get to make that decision."

"It's my life, Ryan! I can do whatever I want!"

"Keep her on suicide watch." He whispered to one of the nurses.

Something was being injected into my arm and I passed out.

***

"Arizona." The voice was familiar, but I couldn't figure out who's it was.

I opened my eyes and saw that nobody was around. I felt a sharp pain in my arm. I looked down at the bandage. Why couldn't they just let me die?

"Arizona." The voice said again.

I looked around. "Hello?" I croaked.

A man stepped out from behind one of the curtains. I put my numb hand over my mouth.

"Daddy." I choked. How was he here? Was that zombie not actually him?

"Arizona, take off your bandage." He said as he took a step towards me.

I started to unwrap the bandage, my bones seemed to crack every move I made. I unwrapped the last bit of gauze to see the black stitches revealed.

"Good girl." He smiled. "The stitches."

I picked at the black thread and broke the first stitch free. Blood oozed through the cut.

"That's it. Keep going."