Manifestation

18: Giving & Taking

A tear dripped down my cheek. He saw me standing there and his smile disappeared.

He broke their arm link and started walking towards me. I ran away before he could say anything.

Tears spilled over me eyes and I tried to hold them back as I ran through the food court into the bathroom. I collapsed onto the ground in sobs.

I have never felt worse in my life. Not when Debbi died, not when I got the Virus, not even when Ryan told me he was going to leave. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. I didn't care. He was a player. He was so quick to move on. It wasn't even a day and he already has a new girlfriend. I should've never trusted him in the first place. I should've never kissed him again down by the lake, I should've never gone looking for him, I should've never confessed my feelings for him.

I felt Jane wrap her arms around me and I sobbed into her shoulder. I felt a few tears drip onto my head.

I calmed down ten minutes later and leaned my back up against the tile wall.

"Jane, it hurts." I sniffled.

"I found this helps when dealing with a broken heart."

I turned my head and looked at her. She pulled a bottle of whiskey out from behind her back. It reminded me of Ryan when he was drunk while I was sick. I tried to forget about him as I took a long sip from the bottle. It tasted bitter and I swallowed it hard. It masked my feelings temporarily. I saw Jane take a big swig.

We sat in silence for another five minutes.

"I don't think he was dating her." Jane finally said.

"She kissed him on the cheek."

"She kissed him. Maybe it was a mistake-"

"Jane, it wasn't a mistake. They were smiling and had their arms linked and she kissed him on the cheek and he didn't say anything."

She was silent for another few minutes. "Maybe if you just let him talk-"

"No-"

"Listen to me! He loves you! I know he was a player! But not after you! He wouldn't do that to you! Just let him talk!" She scolded.

"I'm afraid he will convince me."

"Convince you about what?"

"To love him again." I hadn't stopped loving him. "I'm afraid he might pull something like this again."

She stood up. "If you don't talk to him, I will."

All of the sudden, Ryan ran into the bathroom and saw me sitting on the floor. He rushed over and tried to put his arms around me but I pushed him away.

"Ari-"

"You don't get to explain!" I yelled. The tears came back.

"Please listen to me." I saw tears gather in his blue eyes. "I know what it looked like. But I swear it wasn't what you thought it was. Tracy was blind and-"

"Seriously? The blind girl act? You are ridiculous." I stood up and started to walk out but he grabbed my arm.

"I know it sounds cheesy and stupid, but she needed help getting to the food court. She kissed me on the cheek and I didn't know she was going to do that and I saw you and I knew you thought we were together. Arizona, I'm sorry."

"Great excuse." I wiggled my arm from his grasp and started to stomp out again.

"You just have to trust me! That is what being in a relationship is all about! Just trust me here!" I heard his voice crack and I turned around.