"Ew Feelings" - Suna Rintaro x reader CHATFIC

-fourteen-

*There will be references to self-harm scars, flashbacks which mention cutting, and other depressive triggers. I will provide a warning before the worst of it, but please read with care!*

"My home." He smiled. The room was empty in terms of people at least, and Kenji switched off the colored lights, the room now switched with a creamish glow.

The air had a wonderful smell, like a hint of vanilla along with the regular slight mustiness that basements tended to bring. Looking around again, the room was actually a bit larger than she'd been picturing, now that she saw it.

In the corner she saw a couple doors which led her to guess that it could have been a bedroom for someone living downstairs, although with the lights and music clearly situated for nighttime they bet that the person who the room belonged to didn't get much sleep at all.

Rin's? She felt her face heat and although it was unlike her, she felt herself suppressing a nervous giggle.

Y/n looked around for Kenji but he'd already disappeared, strange how she hadn't heard his footsteps at all, considering how the stairs made noise as they were going down. She felt something leave the side of her waist and realized that Suna's hand had been there the whole time. He walked through one of the doors and after a few awkward minutes of Y/n heavily debating with herself whether or not to go in, he came out again.

"Sorry, I forgot something here. We can go now, you look exhausted." Sure enough, he was holding a hoodie and something else in a wrapper which was hard to see clearly. 

"Rintaro-san... what about your other place?" She had all of a sudden remembered where she'd visited him while sick. 

"Ahh, that's my parents place, I'm staying there for a couple months since my mom's injured and my dad needs help around the house," He said casually, as if it was a perfectly common occurrence. "Don't worry, she had a small car accident but seemed shaken up afterwards."

Oh, it's strange thinking about his family... I wonder why? "Anyways! Yeah let's go."

A   L O N G   W A L K   L A T E R . . .

The door swung open to the Kita residence at the first ring of the bell, Shinsuke not bothering to act as though he wasn't eager to see his sister again. Y/n walked inside, waving a goodbye to Suna, and Shinsuke slowly closed the door while maintaining eye contact. 

Rintaro got chills.

The sudden vibration of his phone so close to his body scared him out of nowhere and he pressed answer with no hesitation. "Hey Osamu! What's going on?"

"Uhhhh...." A long pause. Since when did the brother of Atsumu Miya lose his words? "I like..."

"You what?" Rin grew a knot in his stomach. "I'm coming over."

"No! I'll just freak out and not be able to say it if I see your face!" Osamu's desperation was showing. God, when has Osamu ever been desperate? 

"Too late." Rin hung up before Osamu could give a coherent response and sprinted as hard as he could, using every last muscle fiber he'd built up over his immense volleyball training and beyond. His face stung with heat hitting the cool air, an unpleasant feeling going unnoticed as the only thought he could form ran through his head over and over as if on a mental 400 meter track.

Stay with me Osamu. Don't leave me, please.

His heart ached with a burning feeling that seemed to twist and turn in an uncomfortable way that stimulated all kinds of nerves in the worst ways. His face was hurting more now, the wetness leaking from his eyes heating and cooling felt horrible.

His feet passed over gravel, sharp pieces scratching at his ankles. Don't go. A small puddle drenched his left shoe. Keep moving. A branch that he hadn't seen moments ago whacked against his forehead, a new heat leaking from somewhere along his hairline, feeling thicker than the tears.

His ankles rolled as his running became sloppier and more like the clawing of a dying animal towards something, anything. The Miya residence a small spot, slowly but surely grew in size. He tore up the stairs, clambering up the front porch, slapping the doorbell just below the force he'd use to jump serve.

The door flew open, and the first flash of grey hair sent Rintaro tackling Osamu Miya down to the ground. "You! Do you have any idea what the FUCK I just went through? You're scaring the shit out of me so tell me now. To my goddamn face."

The long strings of profanities mixed with hiccuping sobs, ones that were soon joined with the younger twin's. They lay there, on the floor, with Suna on top of Osamu, door still wide fucking open.

Osamu whispered something, no clearer than another shaky sob. Rin huffed into his best friend's shoulder. 

"Tell me." Not a scream, no swearing. 

"I'm in love with Y/n." Osamu cried, chest rapidly rising and falling, a laugh mixed in with the magically ugly heaves. "I have been for over a year. And seeing my best friend with her is so painful because she deserves someone so amazing, and it- it's not me. It never was."

He laughed more, then cried, until he was barely conscious. "I'm sorry."

Suna stayed there, clinging onto his friend like a child to his mother. Holding the last of his sobs because Osamu was there. Osamu was safe. He was worth more than a pretty girl. He let his heartbeat sync with the one pounding in Osamu's chest, and his eyelids felt droopier and droopier. 

He let himself drift away, hands wrapped around the  faint patterned scarred tissue around Osamu's arms. The ones that mirrored his own.

8   M O N T H S   A G O (TW HERE)

"Suna... I have to tell you something." Osamu twiddled with the sleeve of his Inarizaki jacket. He'd picked up that habit a couple weeks ago, even though the weather was getting warmer. "Can we go to the locker room?" 

Suna was confused, but eagerly followed Osamu. He admired him a lot and talking to him provided a wonderful escape from everything shitty in his world. Osamu looked around once they entered, yet still tucked themselves in a corner away from the door. 

He tugged at his sleeve, wincing as he slowly removed the jacket. Suna's face slowly fell as he realized what was happening. Immediately, his eyes trained on the nearest wrist to him. 

A bunch of scars of different thicknesses, some straighter than others, crisscrossed around his friend's wrist. To much surprise, they weren't bandaged at all and the scabbing was, to much concern, seemingly fresh.

Cuts. He... he cuts...

"Are you safe? Do you need some bandages, water?" Osamu looked shocked, as if he deeply anticipated repulsion at once, but nodded. Rin pulled some spare cloth from a fresh gym uniform and tore it at once, wetting it with water from his bottle, and cleaning up the scars on both wrists. 

"You still have it, don't you?"

Osamu hesitated... then tentatively left Suna's care to pull the small blade he'd tucked deep into his bag out. He gave it to Suna, relieved as if a burden had left.

Suna used bandaging from a medical kit to fix Osamu's last cuts, and then said to meet him outside. 

Rintaro turned the thing in his hands, before sliding it over his own wrist. 

Two. Three. Switch to the other wrist. Two. Three. Four.

It stung, but he wanted to know. Why would someone like the great Miya Osamu hold himself like this. 

It hurts.

And those words were fresh on the mind of Suna's mind, months later, lying on the floor with his best friend, feeling like a traitor to everyone he knew.

A/N:

Sorry for the dark scenes and shorter chapter, I'm finally back from a looong break and will slowly try to post a bit more here and there. Again, so sorry! Feel free to read another one of my stories, Tsundere or Wings, both Haikyuu x Readers! Thank you for your patience I love all of you readers so so much!

Saishimi 💜