A Little Butterfly- The Other Soldier (Bucky Barnes x reader) (they/them reader)

I'm Sorry

Tw: mentions of abuse, bad language

We're sitting in a hotel room. Sam is staring at me from across the room. He already lectured me on how irresponsible it was to run away from them to join the Flag Smashers. James is sitting on the bed next to me, his head in his hands. I know that he's going over every little detail from tonight. It's something he started doing back at Hydra, so that maybe when they wiped him he would remember a little. I don't think it ever really worked.

"Who was the blonde haired lady? The one that shot Karli?" I ask, breaking the silence.

James sits up. "Sharon. Sharon shot Karli?" He asks Sam to confirm. Sam nods, not taking his eyes off of me.

I look down at the floor. "I'm sorry." It comes out as only a whisper, so I start again, louder this time. "I'm really really sorry."

James sighs. "Y/n, you did what you thought was right. You just should have thought it through a bit more."

I nod. "I know. I just... I really wanted something to fight for."

"I know, but you have to find the right thing to fight for. We've been fighting for something for forever, but now you get to choose what you fight for." James looks over at Sam. He says something with his eyes, almost speaking to Sam telepathically. Sam nods and then leaves the room.

"I'm sorry." I look down at the floor.

"I know." James moves closer to me.

"But James, you should have seen it. There were all these people, displaced and confused, but they were all coming together and creating a new family. It was... It was beautiful." I look up at James. "It was so fucking beautiful."

He smiles. "Yea I bet it was."

I feel a tear slip down my face. James reaches over and wipes it away with his thumb. "James, what are they gonna do now that Karli is dead."

James' lips turn down at the ends. "I'm not sure y/n. I doubt it'll be easy though."

I nod, looking down at the floor again. James pulls me into a hug.

I push out of his arms. "Y/n are you okay?"

I look up at him and shake my head. "James, I was ready to do whatever it took to fight with the Flag Smashers... Just cause I was so desperate to have something to fight for."

James looks down at the floor. "Yea... I get it though. After being forced to fight for the wrong side, it's easy to get blindsided by the need to do the right thing."

I look at him. "Yea but you knew which side was the right one to fight for. You didn't fuck it up like this."

He frowns a little. "Yea. But I had Steve and Sam to stop me from doing the wrong thing," He sighs. "I was supposed to be there to protect you from doing the wrong thing. But I didn't. I let you go and try to fight for something alone. I'm sorry."

I look down. "It's okay... You know you don't always have to protect me from everything."

He looks over at me and gives me a weak smile. "I know, but I think ditching you for two years was enough of a break. I wasn't able to protect you from enough."

I match his weak smile. "You did protect me James. At least as well as you could."

I lean into him and hug him. I feel his arms wrap around me. I take a deep breath. "Thank you for protecting me James, but I need one more thing..."