A Little Butterfly- The Other Soldier (Bucky Barnes x reader) (they/them reader)

They're Scared Of Me

Tw: mentions of anxiety, mentions of death

I wake up hours later. I look around and realize that the room is dark. James is sitting on the floor, passed out. I get up and look at the digital clock James has on his nightstand. 2 a.m. I can't just sit here for hours, I definitely shouldn't wake James up, and it's not like I'll be able to fall back to sleep, so instead I head for the door and sneak out as quietly as possible.

I get into the hallway and head down to the elevator. The hall is silent except for a boy's voice coming from the room labeled "Peter".

"Harley stop it! You're gonna wake everyone up!" I hear the voice whisper yell. In a quick moment of panic, I realize that I don't know how to get around this place, I knock on the boy's door.

I hear a lot of shushing and then the door opens. "I'm sorry, Harley and I are going to- Oh. Hi... Are you here to complain that Harley and I are being too loud?"

On the other side of the doorway, there's a boy about my age. He's a little bit taller than me, with curly brown hair and shining brown eyes. Behind him I can see another boy. He has dark blonde hair and bright green eyes.

"Hi..." I can hear my heart pounding in my head, I haven't really had to make a good impression on anyone in quite a few years. "Umm... I was just wondering if there was like a kitchen around here or something... Sorry... I didn't mean to intrude or anything..." I look down at the floor and I feel my cheeks burning up.

"Oh, it's okay!" The brown haired boy smiles at me. "Harley and I can bring you down to the kitchen if you want."

I just nod my head not knowing what else to say. Before I know what's happening, the brown haired boy and the boy I believe is named Harley are going downstairs in the elevator.

"I'm Harley. This is Peter." The blonde haired boy says, motioning to himself and the other boy. "What's your name?"

I hesitate for a second. Telling people my name has always been a risky move, because it could blow my cover, but then I remember that I'm not on a mission. "Y/n."

"Oh..." Peter's eyes grow wide and he takes a step away from me. Harley gives him a look and Peter stands on the tip of his toes to whisper something in Harley's ear. I guess Peter knows who I am...

"You're friends with Bucky?" Harley asks, while grabbing Peter's hand in his own.

"Umm... yea... You know if you guys don't want me here, I can leave or something..." I say, suddenly very aware of everything they could've heard about me. I guess I don't have the best reputation. Especially not in a place like this. A place where everyone is somebody I've been taught to hate.

"No. That's okay..." Harley says, but I can tell the two boys are still nervous.

"You guys are scared of me..." I say under my breath. I guess Zemo succeeded in making my name one to fear.

"Did you really kill all those people?" Peter pipes up. I look over and see Harley lightly step on Peter's foot signaling for Peter to shut up.

I look back forwards. I don't want to say yes, but I know my silence says it all. "I didn't want to, but I had to."

I can feel their eyes drilling holes into me. As soon as the elevator doors open, I get out and start walking away from them. I don't even care if I'm going in the right direction, I just need to get away from their judgement. I turn around a corner and find myself in an extravagant kitchen. I collapse against the wall and try to steady my breathing. I know if I don't calm down I'll end up hurting somebody and that's the last thing I want.

Harley and Peter are scared of me. They're scared of me, because they should be. I'm a monster. Hydra and Zemo, they made me into a monster. Most of the time, I just try to ignore everything I've done, but when people, people my age who in another life I could probably be friends with, when they look at me with that much horror in their eyes... I just can't ignore it all.

I hear the door open and look up to see Peter and Harley looking at me, their eyes filled with a mix of fear and worry. "Please just leave me alone." I say, my voice barely louder than a whisper. I bury my head in my hands. The boys look at each other and then I hear the door close.

I've been sitting on this floor trying not to cry for all of five minutes when I hear footsteps running down the hall and then the door opens. I look up and there's James. Suddenly, I can't hold my tears back anymore. I just start bawling my eyes out. James comes over and scoops me up into his arms. I bury my face into his chest and cry as he runs his fingers through my hair. James doesn't say anything, he just holds me while I cry.

It's weird crying like this. I haven't cried in a really long time. Zemo said it made me weak. He said that if I was going to cry then I would be worthless to him and all of Hydra. He never said it, but I knew that if I was worthless, they would end me. I would be too dangerous for them to throw out on the streets and if I was worthless, they would rather just clean up all ends of the story and kill me.

A/n: Guys I added a little bit of Parkner content cause they are one of my favorite non-canon ships ever!