To the man I wish I would always see,
Doubts.
It keeps on filling my head.
Unending what ifs and maybes.
But what can I do? It feels so normal to feel doubts, and it's making me feel that everything is real. That every actions has its consequences. To hold back, or to have regrets?
But the more I think of it, the more it grows inside my heart. And a day without you, without seeing you, only made it way bigger.
And here I am, only have myself left in me. Comforting myself.
But.
But I always remember that look in your eyes the last time I saw you. And now, I felt like the reason why your eyes look like that is because you will be gone for a day.
But then, you are not around the next day. And I felt like you'll be gone for a week.
Another day without you means losing you for a month.
And another felt like you'll be gone forever.
I missed you.
My eyes missed seeing you.
My heart missed beating fast whenever you're around.
Did my mind missed you? No. You never left it. Even a single second.
Still, you almost made me crazy thinking where you are. What are you doing?
Do you have the right to make me feel like this? Like looking at me like I'm one fragile thing that'll break once you remove your eyes on me. Then next, you'll make me feel like I'm nothing. That you're not thinking about me like how much I do to you.
You're honestly reigning on my system. You made me feel high for a moment like I'm in the heavens of ecstasy and then fall so deep uninvited and now my feet were deeply rooted to the ground.
It feels like you are thetyphoon in my system, messing everything up, leaving everything in the wrongplaces. And then you'll fix it. And then mess it all up again. But still everypart of me that you damaged still misses you, and craves for you to come back.
