Alive // bxb

Chapter 11

Milo's POV:

When I woke up, there was no light streaming in from my window. It wasn't an unusual occurrence, but when I looked around, I realized that it must be quite early since the moon was still visible in the sky.

I took a moment to collect my thoughts and what exactly had happened last night. When I thought back to my last memories, my heart nearly stopped as I mentally cursed myself.

"Did I really have to pass out?" I wondered aloud before looking around, noticing Adriel and Liam sleeping on the floor. "Goddess."

Careful not to wake either of them up, I tiptoed around them and cautiously made my way down the stairs and shut the door at the bottom. Then, sighing in relief that I hadn't woken them up, I looked at the clock on the wall. I was right; it was only four in the morning.

Upon inspection, I found Bubbles asleep on the couch and felt guilty that she had spent the night alone, so I spent a few minutes just petting her and thinking.

Why am I so weak? was the first thought to come to my mind. Why did simple shows of familial affection push me over the edge into bottomless pits of memories? Why couldn't I stomach more than a bite of pasta? Why did Liam's mom calling me 'honey' send back memories of my own mother with her own pet names?

So many questions, so few answers.

And then another memory: being held in someone's arms, feeling safe and warm and as though nothing bad could happen. And then the worst possible thing happened. I fell back asleep.

Well.

I stood up again, dusting my hands off on my pants- thank the Goddess I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday, I'd love to change but since Adriel and Liam were both asleep in my room, it seemed unlikely that would even have a chance of happening.

Since I had nothing else to do and going outside in the dark absolutely terrified me, I decided I should make breakfast since they went through the trouble of staying with me last night. I had just gotten groceries a day or so ago, and that included a box of pancake mix that I'd gotten for the sole purpose that it might work similarly to bread in my system, that I could eat more than anything else. So I decided to mix up a batch and cook them individually on the stove using my small pan. Some of my butter was gone, strangely.

Once the pancakes were kept warm in the slightly heated oven, I got out some eggs. Honestly, I had no clue how much scrambled egg one egg could make because I didn't like them, so I just decided to make three and figured I could make more if needed.

"You've been busy," Adriel commented from behind me two hours later. I turned around, smiling. "How did you sleep?"

"Pretty well."

"I heard you had quite the night last night." His voice dropped an octave. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I hesitated, wondering if he actually cared or if it was more of a politeness thing, but finally decided that he wouldn't have asked if he wasn't interested and I probably didn't give him enough credit and sighed. "The way Liam and Paisley were acting- it reminded me of M-Malena and I." My voice trembled. "And then I remembered th-the way they'd-" Died, I wanted to continue, but my voice was stuck in my throat. "And then I passed out, I guess," I finished in a whisper.

Adriel sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," he muttered before leaning forward to press a light kiss to my forehead. When I wrapped my arms around him, he complied and pulled me into a tight embrace. We usually didn't show so much affection, but it felt good.

I let go when I heard Liam walking down the stairs, seeming to hit nearly every creak as though he didn't have the ability to simply jump to the bottom and land soundlessly. Adriel gave me a smile before moving to pick up three plates from the cupboard and place them on the table. I bent to get the pan of pancakes out of the oven as Liam appeared at the bottom of the stairs.