Alive // bxb

Chapter 19

Milo's POV:

Avoiding Liam was harder than I thought possible.

Now that Sage and Adriel were mated, Sage being Liam's best friend and Adriel being mine, it was sort of like we were split into two couples at lunchtime, except for the fact that Julie was fifth-wheeling a lot of the time and the fact that Liam and I were... not exactly on speaking terms.

He tried to talk to me.

I ignored him.

It had been less than a week, today being Friday, but already I was tired with the whole thing. Every so often I'd catch his gaze and his green eyes would light up before I'd tear my gaze away and resign myself to pretending he didn't exist.

My heart convulsed painfully every time I thought about him. Every thought was like liquid acid in my brain, doing more harm than good, acting like glue, sticking thoughts of him to the forefront of my mind. And it didn't help matters that Sage was still upset about the whole thing, believing it to be his fault even though it really wasn't.

It was how I imagined rejecting your mate would feel, which broke my heart into tiny little pieces when I remembered he must be feeling the exact same feelings that I was; the way my heart stopped just a bit when he caught my gaze, the two seconds of bliss caught in his vision, the self-inflicted pain I felt when I tore my gaze away.

But I couldn't think of another solution.

Juliana had suggested that I talk to him, tell him exactly why I wanted to know everything remotely dangerous he was doing. But me, Milo Lazos-Rodriguez, the omega of the Lightfoot pack, talking openly to someone else about my feelings without sobbing through most of the explanation? Inconceivable.

It also didn't really help that I didn't know why I was reacting this way, either.

Yes, it was something to do with my insecurities, all the flaws I knew I carried that he just didn't seem to see. It was something to do with the fact that it was my family's past that he was trying to make right. It was something to do with the knowledge that I had to hear it from Sage, the future beta, who didn't even know that I didn't even know.

Maybe it was better that it wasn't some huge organized effort to keep me in the dark, but part of me just thought he had been sort of stupid for not telling Sage that I didn't know, at least.

There were some parts of the situation that I couldn't begin to unravel alone, both emotion-wise and fact-wise, so I didn't even begin to try. Instead, I wrapped my arms tightly around my midsection and rested my head on the cool table in the cafeteria, ignoring the sandwich I had packed.

Adriel frowned at me. "You okay?"

"Tired," I grumbled in response instead of taking the time to talk through what I'd just thought. It was technically true, anyways. I hadn't gotten much sleep since... the entire fiasco happened.

Adriel nodded with a small smile, the kind we shared when no one else was looking, the kind that held different meanings than the ones we said out loud. His smile read, I know you're lying but I'm going to choose to ignore it because I know you don't want to talk about it.

This was why I loved Adriel. My best friend and my brother, my rock and my sword, providing comfort and harsh words to those who knocked me down.

Liam looked tired too, sitting a seat away from me. Julie had taken up the role of separating us dutifully through the week, which I was eternally grateful for, but her long blonde hair couldn't hide everything through its curtain.

The circles under his eyes were proof that he hadn't gotten any sleep throughout the week, either.

"If anything I'm learning in Advanced Health class this week is useful in the slightest- which it's not-" Julie grumbled, leaning back as she picked up a baby carrot from her plastic container- "sleep is super duper important and all of you kids should get at least eight hours a night. Which, if I'm honest, it looks like none of you are."