Is This Me?

Chapter Fourteen - No Mercy

One thing I'm sure life has taught me these past weeks is endurance. Never in a million years would I and my family expect the events of recent weeks. They happened suddenly, without warning; without mercy.

Having to endure the sudden death of my father was much more harder than I would have ever thought. Having to listen to his Will, my mother's tears, my grandmother's harsh words, and the sound of boxes zipping up again gave me the feeling of euphoria of a sad reminder of our coming to Egypt for what was supposed to be a happy holiday. Little did we know...

I knew that it would take time for me to heal. Maybe I wouldn't, even. No amount of time in the world would be enough for me to cry and mourn my first love and hero. I would sacrifice anything to give my father one last hug. To see his smile, to hear his voice, and to tell him that I love him.

The morning my mother told me that he won't be coming back home forever, I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what I felt. I refused to believe that they were going to put my dad in the ground; alone.

I always thought life loved me, and gave me all what I asked. A home, education, money, vacations, good food. But I was wrong. Life didn't love me. It had no mercy on anyone, least of all, me.

I'm don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I'm learning the hard way at a young age; although it's extremely hard to bear the pain. But I feel myself getting stronger. I feel myself getting ready for anything that life has to throw at me.

If anybody told me that I would soon relocate to Nigeria with my family without my father, I would laugh in their faces. But I guess that's the whole point of life; experiences that teach you lessons. I don't know what God has written for me and my family for the future, but I know that I have to be ready. And keep praying.

God, please help us. Don't put me and my loved ones to shame. Be with us. Guide us. Protect us. We have full trust in you. We love you.

Anne.

* * *

"Wake up, Anne" Mama's soft whisper woke Anne up. She blinked a few times and looked around before remembering where she was. The plane.

When she looked outside, it was sunny. Very sunny. It wasn't as sunny as Egypt, but sunnier than England. They were in Lagos, Nigeria. A few hours ago, she remembered hugging her cousins so tight, like it was the last time she was ever going to see them. She couldn't expect less anymore.

She remembered the times she had with them. Amal, especially. She wondered how a human could love so fast. She really loved them. Amal's silly jokes and her humor that never failed to get a laugh out of her. Her and Kamila's arguments too. Hafsah was surprisingly mature for her age. She was always quiet and she said the wisest things.

Her Aunt Inaya, who showed them nothing but love and care. She only wished she had more time with them. She wished she had more time with all the people she loved and cared for...

She always had little time with her grandparents. She didn't create the bond that she wanted them to have, but she loved them all the same.

She remembered her life in England. She remembered Ronnie Tamos, the girl who taught her patience. Despite the big fight they had at school, she still willingly forgave her. She was sweet like that.

She remembered Lilly and Timmy. Her two favorite people (and dog). She would give anything for just one more sleepover with Lilly. She could hear Timmy's barks in her head and she wanted nothing more than to give him one last hug and feed him his favorite cookies.

That all that were now memories hurt her to her core. Perhaps they should have just stayed home. Maybe, just maybe, she would still be home, playing Scrabble with Mama and Papa, gossiping and laughing with Lilly and playing catch with David, Josh, and Emily. Just maybe...

She knew it was unhealthy to make such assumptions, for what has happened has happened. But, she couldn't help it. It didn't make her feel any better, but it was much welcome than staring at Papa's photograph in her hands all day, exhausting her tears and energy that she hardly could muster always quiet and she said the wisest things.

It was hard to be strong in this situation. Her life turned into a mess in just a few days. Just one phone call put her father in past tense, and brought her and her family to Nigeria. New school, new home, maybe new friends. She didn't know. One phone call made her leave behind all that she loved so much. It was as if someone was whispering behind her back 'You've lived your life. It's my turn'.

The pain cut through her like a knife. How would she handle this sudden change of fortunes? She wanted to undo every single thing that had happened in her life after they arrived at Egypt, and start over, but she knew that even though she would have stopped Papa from going out that morning, something else might have still happened, given that it was his time to go.

As the sad thoughts went through her head, it was all so surreal. There they were, walking down to where their ride was, with their luggage. In Lagos. Life was surely a roller coaster.

"Where are we going?" Josh whispered to Mama in the car, after they had loaded two of the vehicles with their bags and trucks with their furniture trailing behind them.

The environment was busy. Very busy. And loud. She couldn't remember when she was here. She was very young. There were cars and people everywhere on the streets and the people just seemed different. They talked funny, and acted rude. Everybody seemed to mind each their business. When she was going to Egypt, she felt nervous and excited. However, this time was different. She wasn't excited. Just nervous. She was only happy that she still has her family with her - at least.

"We're going home" Mama gave him a small smile as Emily rested her head on her chest and dozed off immediately. She didn't feel like sleeping. She didn't want to. She had been doing that a lot lately, mostly because she cried a lot too - which took up most of her energy. Sobbing had become a daily act. Her mental health was suffering. She knew. But she didn't want to care. She just wanted to take life one day at a time and hoped that it would be kind to her. To them.

She looked outside the window again, absorbing her new environment. Her new home...

The Chapter I myself have been waiting for! Comment your favorite part.

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